Fade

There's a hole inside of my heart

because I miss you.

Tearing my soul slowly apart.

You make me true.

 

You're the light within my shadows.

 my life's perfect meaning.

Young lovers dancing in rainy meadows

Laughing, playing, dreaming

 

Of those days, when we would grow old

funny how dreams fade.

Emotions became uncontrolled

and the bonds that tied decayed.

 

And soon you were gone.

and I was lost and alone

wanting the night to turn into dawn

my true love, Unknown

 

 

Author's Note

Pretty sure this sucks monkey balls, let me know.

Getting great reviews, but I am just not happy with it. Hope I don't ruin it by changing it.

Reviews

[Liza]

the intensity is felt; so is the void and desperation - you may not be happy with the piece because it is drawn from darkness and being happy with darkness may be the conflict of embracing this piece, this feeling and this void...a new definition to be born of true love, unknown.

[Amanda Rena]

this is one of my favorites. The imagery and emotions evoked by your words and phrasing are very deep.

[YouoweYoupay]

Sometimes a person we love becomes the candle of our path, and without them we will be lost, and cold, and unable to smile. Plain and simple with heartbreaking emotions that sound authentic and out of real-life experience. Keep writing.

-Wela.

[Doreen]

This does not suck monkey balls. It's fabulous. It's visual and emotional. I really like this.

[David W Moore III]

no... no monkey balls. The first, third and fourth stanzas are great. If I were changing anything, I might rework the second. But still, quite good.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

it bleeds tears~

[Misty Blue Eyes]

wow it amazes me how much i can relate to your pain, and the fact that your other half is ripped from your being that you feel like it was the only part that felt real the whole time through out this life.

[Liza]

the pain is so clear and whole....from the hole, the void, the longing....beautifully expressed.

[Brad]

monkey balls? hahahahahahaha!
actually, it's pretty good as far as laments go. sometimes when writing these, we get carried away with the emotion, but you don't here and you tell a story