Down the Rabbit Hole

In anticipation of The Magician's arrival, I showered and dressed in the only other outfit other than night wear I had.   Which wasn't a bad thing, it was my favorite outfit, a black knit sweater with a with tee under and my jeans.    I wanted to look semi normal, I wanted to look alive.   I felt alive.  More importantly, I felt hungry.  I wanted to eat.   Something I hadn't wanted in a long time.   I devoured both slices of Pizza, and thankfully the young Latin Girl brought me a vase for the rose.  It was on my end table.  It looked amazing.

 

I couldn't believe the energy and strength I felt.    I hadn't felt this good in over a year.   If only I had my hair,  I would have looked like the girl of old.   I sighed softly, as I sat on the bed and waited.   I hoped Anne would find him.   I was curious if this was what love felt like, if this was love at first site.   I had never felt this before, I had never...experienced anything like this.   It was all so new and all so late.   Even if it was love, what could I do about it?   I was being silly, a silly girl who was desperate. 

 

Anne walked in slowly, and I looked over with a smile on my bed.  She shook her head no, and my heart fell from my throat to the bottom of my stomach.   My hand went to my chest and found the gem under my shirt.   I had this to remember him.  

 

"I am sorry babe, I looked and looked but nobody seen him after the show.   Do you want me to help you get ready for bed?"  Anne spoke softly and in a calm voice, but I could hear the small hint of disappointment.   She was just as happy and excited as I was.   I opened up my arms to her and she came over to give me a hug.   

 

"No, it feels good to be dressed.   Is it okay if I stay like this, just for awhile.   I think I am going to watch a couple of DVD's before I go to sleep."  She rubbed the skull cap on my head, made it such a mess and out of place.    "Hey!"  I giggled as the cap went over my eyes.  

 

"I have to make my rounds, but what you watching?"   I was fixing my hat when I looked up mischievously.

 

"I don't know yet, I thought about watching Alice in Wonderland.   The one with Johnny Depp.   He is so sexy."   I couldn't help but smile from ear to ear showing all my teeth.

 

"Girl, You don't have to tell me that twice.   I picture him when the old man wants to get all cuddly. But that's between you and I.   I will be back girlfriend, and I am determined to get that rose.  I will get it!"  We both started laughing,  she patted my shoulder and left the room.   I hopped out of bed and over to the dvd player remote.  I had that DVD already in and hit power making my way back to the bed.  Rosetta walked in wearing the ugly black cafeteria uniforms and grabbed my tray.  She smiled at me and waved.   She never talked, but I understood.  It had to be hard working on the dying kids floor.  

 

"Is that a dove?"  She spoke...I looked over to her, as she was looking at the window, which the blinds were closed.   They were now open and sitting on the window sill was my dove.   It was looking in at us as we were looking at him.

 

"He is my friend I think, I saw him outside."  I turned to look at her, and she smiled at me.   She walked over to me and gave me a giant hug, holding me tight. 

 

"Just believe, and everything will be amazing."  She was never this affectionate, only a wave.   I was rather confused but I didn't want her to feel weird so I hugged her back.  "Creo, y tu fe te conceda un regalo mayor que toda la eternidad."  She pulled away and kissed my cheek smiling from ear to ear.   She looked at the dove, crossed herself and walked out of the room with my tray.   I looked back at the dove.

 

Was this God coming for me?   Was I about to die?   I wasn't ready yet.   I shouldn't have sent my momma home.  A tear traced my cheek and fell to the floor at the foot of my bed.   I sniffled trying to pull it back, I was so confused.   I should call Mom.   I looked up to the phone, where I placed my balloon.  It was gone.  My eyes widened and I looked everywhere.   I looked behind me, on the bed, under the pillows, under the bed, in the bathroom, by the monitors.   He was gone.   I gasped and started to cry harder.  Everything was going to fall apart.   I heard pecking at the window,  I looked over and the dove was flapping it's wings, and one of them looked like it was pointing down to the floor.   I looked just beyond my wheelchair toward the door.  There it was looking at me.   It hopped up and down.  But that wasn't possible.   It hopped toward me, then away.   It wanted to play?   I took a few steps toward it, and it backed away.  I stopped.   It hopped up to me, in it's brilliant Balloon form, it looked up at me, tilted it's head.   I laughed and kneeled down. 

 

It bolted away from me quickly as my door was being opened.   Anne jumped into the air startled by the quickness the white rabbit sprinted past her.   She looked wide eyed as the rabbit ran down the hall toward the door marked scare case.   The bunny stopped, looked back.   Alexis ran up to stand in front of Anne, just as curious as the heavily breathing nurse, who put her hand to her mouth, then focused her eyes on the young girl in front of her.  

 

"Amazing.   Go, Alexis....Go....Chase your rabbit..."   Alexis did not need any further encouragement as her curiosity had already told her to chase that rabbit.  Chase that rabbit down the hole to where ever it may lead her.   And it was like a movie... a movie in slow motion as the bunny hopped, and hopped and hopped it pushed open what seemed to be a heavy door with ease and into the awaiting staircase.   Alexis was close behind as she too hit the door and it opened with ease.   She stood at the stairs looking at the options.  Up or down.   Which way did the bunny go?

I chose to go down, as that was the only thing that honestly made sense to me.   He must have gone down.    I checked over the banister as this was a well lit staircase, so I sighed not seeing the bunny.   I quickly went down the six flights of stairs and came to a single door.   I expected to have options, but it was one door, a typical door with a red light above it that read "Exit".   I opened it to peek out and saw a dense wooden forest type area with snow blanketing everything.    It was rather pretty but I didn't see the bunny in any direction.    A chill brushed past my face as I made my way to the outside.   I became cold, and shivered.  

I wanted to turn back, go back into the warmth but the door shut quickly in a loud bang that almost made me scream for bloody murder.    It was darker than I anticipated, but the moonlight above made it light enough to see.   Then I caught the flicker of an orange light in the distance, and what I thought was a guitar playing in the distance.    I started to make my way toward the sound.   Louder and louder, brighter and brighter till I found a clearing.

A light skinned African American sat upon a huge gray rock in front of the fire in long bell-bottomed pants, and a multi-colored Poncho that hang loosely around him.   He has a well manicured Afro and mustache as he strummed on his guitar with his left hand.   Next to him was a Glass contraption that stood up to my knees with a bowel at the top and in a pear shape.   A hose came out of the base.   He looked up at me and offered a smile.    

"Who are you?" he asked softly as he continued to strum on his guitar with a masters hand, but I didn't see where the sound was coming from.   I didn't see speakers, just his cord plugged into the rock he sat on.    He stopped playing, set the guitar against his knee, and grabbed a burning stick from the fire.   He placed the hose into his mouth, lit the contents in the bowl in the contraption and exhaled a thick smoke toward me.  It smelled of a skunk and I coughed harshly.   I tried to fan the smoke from my face but it engulfed me.   "It's only polite to answer. You dig?"

"I am sorry.   I'm Alexis.   And I am cold, and lost...and to be honest a little freaked out."

"Jimi."  He took another big inhale and exhaled slowly.   He pointed to a log on the opposite side of the fire.    I sat slowly, cautiously, placed my hands up to the fire and took in the warmth quickly.   He sat the hose back down, and picked up the guitar.  "Do you like my sound?"   He started to strum the guitar with a masters grace.  

"I...I...I... do, but how are you doing that?   And what are you doing out here alone?"

He closed his eyes just playing the guitar fulling enjoying what he was doing.   He opened them up and had a huge smile on his face.   "I am not alone, you are with me, you dig?  How do I do this?   Magic, you dig."  He gave me a wink and strummed a couple of cords.  "Can't I just play for me? For the trees, the wind, the snow, the animals, the lost souls looking for the right path?   You can call this a release, you know, away for me to find direction, find my inner soul and enjoy the talents that were given to me.   Music is a spiritual communication, you know.   You need this Earthier sound to clear your mind.    And a groovy sound can open up ones mind and awaken their soul.    The sound now a days is rather shrill, and loud.   And the music gets louder and louder, you know.   You lose the meaning, and gets really hard.  So many sleeping people, I guess I am just trying to wake them."   He makes some wicked sounds on the guitar and smiles.    The sound is so beautiful that I start to bob my head to sound.    "Why are you here?"

"Well...I don't know.   I was chasing a rabbit, and I ended up here."

"Why were you chasing the rabbit?"

"I was hoping it would take me to someone....but I lost it...and now I am lost.  I don't want to go back, I just can't.   The only thing waiting for me there is.....I just wanted to meet the Magician."  He had started to bob his head and the music got louder from his guitar.   I stopped, I just stopped.  What was I doing here?   What was I doing?   Am I dying?  Am I dead?   Am I a lost soul just looking for direction, all the good, everything that happened up till now seems lost.   I was lost.   I had no idea what to do, or where to go.   All I knew was if I moved from here I would be cold..and if I go back I would be dead.  

"You seem sad, you should clear your mind and just sing.   Sing your soul....sing what you fear.  Sing Silly girl,....sing."  He started a new chord and I knew the song.   It was a song I heard from American Idol.   My mom, sister, and I would gather at the couch with a bag of chips and watch weekly.   It was our time together, a time that no matter what, no matter how pissed, or depressed, or anything we gathered together.    This song I knew....so I sang.

"All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world ... mad world
Enlarging your world
Mad world"

I sang "Mad World" and Jimi played it in the style of Gary Jules.   It was my favorite song.  I would play it over and over.  Especially after I got sick.   I saw it as my ballad personally written for me.   It was so true how different made me feel in the beginning.   How ignored and unknown I was.   I didn't have anyone, and I felt alone.  I felt lost, but I guess if I would have just thought about it.   I was never really alone.   I felt so much better, so calm.   So alive.   I didn't understand how all of this could be, or how he was playing his guitar but I knew I was in the right place.   One word kept repeating in my head.  "Believe."   I would never stop believing. 

He set his guitar down again, and lit the bowl, inhaled deep.   He exhaled toward me.   "That was deep, you know.   You have a groovy sound.  I have a thing later.   I want you to come, but you will need a dress.   Don't forget the dress...Groovy" and with his final word he inhaled quickly and puffed out some smoke.   As it cleared it pointed, and I looked.   My Rabbit!   Quickly I rose to my feet and after that balloon bunny I chased.    Behind me in my wake was Jimi continuing to play his guitar.  

Reviews

[Wendy Seames Garner]

A very interesting version of Alice in Wonderland. You might want to check over your story again, I saw a few mistakes - I think your mind was working faster than you could type. I'm wondering which direction this story will take next.