The Kiss, the necklace and the dove.

The sky was full of stars, and the moon was the fullest I had ever seen.   You would have never guessed it was November, so warm with a gentle breeze that pushed past Ashley and myself.  She sat on the bench to my right as we faced the concrete cross that graced the courtyard of Cardinal Care.   She was making goofy sounds and bouncing the bunny on her lap.   I giggled watching her.  She stopped.  She turned red with embarrassment.  We broke into full on laughter.

 

I placed the rose to my nose to once again smell it's beauty.   I closed my eyes and so wanted him to be standing in front of me, holding the rose in his hand.   His eyes were embedded into my memory, and couldn't stop thinking about him.   A smile crossed my lips as my eyes opened.   My sister sat hoping the bunny toward me.  

 

"Tell me again Ashley.   Tell me about your first kiss.   Please."  My voice sounded desperate.   I wanted her story to be mine, but I had to accept that it wasn't going to happen for me.   As much as it hurt, all I had was her story.  

 

"Oh so you can pretend you are me and Tommy is the Magic Man."  Now it was my turn.   I could feel the blood rush to my face and my cheeks start to burn.  She started to giggle as she straddled the bench to look at me.  "It was last year, and when we went to the Homecoming dance.    'Linger by the Cranberries'    started to play."  She placed the Balloon Bunny on my lap as she grabbed my empty hand with both of hers.  "We walked out to the dance floor, I put my hands around his neck, his on my waist.  We danced slowly just staring into each others eyes.   I bit my bottom lip in anticipation, he smiled.  Leaned in, then planted a soft kiss right on my lips.  I closed my eyes and just allowed myself to fall into him, into the music, into the moment.   I felt warm, I felt amazing.   It felt like an eternity, and when he pulled away I almost cried.   I opened my eyes to see him looking back at me.   I laid my head on his shoulder and danced to the song.   I still listen to it, and remember."  She started singing softly. "You know I am such a fool for you, You got me wrapped around your finger... do you have too, do you have to let it linger.  Do you have too, do you have too let it linger."  She stopped smiling and I had tears in my eyes.   I leaned in and grabbed her in such a huge hug.  

 

"I am so jealous of you!"  I said with a small but sincere laugh.  She had a small tear escape her eye as we backed from each other.   Quickly her hand brushed it away as she turned back toward the statue.  

 

A single bird flew to the top of the cross, leaving me most curious.    It looked like a dove, but in November in St. Louis?   I don't ever remember seeing a dove ever before, but I couldn't take my eyes off it.  Never have I seen one when My Mother joined us placing a blanket around my lower half.  

 

"How lovely is it out here tonight?   It's so beautiful."  She said cheerfully.   I hadn't heard my mother use that tone of voice in so long, lately she was soft spoken and somber.   "Did I miss a hugging session?"

 

We both just looked at her then each other and giggled.   Mom sat next to Ashley but my attention went back to the Dove, who continued to sit on top of the cross.   It felt like it was watching me.   Waiting.   A smile crossed my face, and I was curious if the bird was another trick by the Magician.   I hoped he was going to appear in front of me, sweep me off my feet, and take me away to a place where pain and suffering didn't exist.   I hoped, but in reality, I knew it would never happen.  

 

"They are doing  a late dinner this evening due to the show.   Anne said she would be out to get you when yours was ready.   I am going to run Ashley back home, then come back and spend the night with you again.   You don't mind do you Alexis?"

 

"Mom, stay home.   You look like heck.   Get some sleep.  As a favor to me...."

"Baby, I am not going to let my little girl..."

 

"Mom, please." 

 

"Alexis, I love you."

 

"Momma, I love you too..."

 

"I don't want you to be alone baby."  Mom had tears streaming down her face, Ashley had already stood up and walked away as she broke down in tears.   "You don't have to face this alone Alexis."

 

"I am not alone Momma, God is with me."  I pointed up to the dove on the cross, and Mom looked up to see it.   She laughed softly and wiped her tears away with the palm of her hand.  

 

"If God is that close, then that is more reason for me to come back.   I will not allow you to be alone. I am sorry Alexis, I will be here tonight."

 

I couldn't help but smile.  "Momma, I am not the only one who needs you right now."   I pointed over to Ashley who had her back to us.  She was trying top control the sobs, she was trying to be strong.

 

"Momma, I am going to die.  I am going to die soon...regardless if you are here or not, but she is alive, and she is scared.   She needs you, and I know you need her.   If I don't feel good, I will call, I promise."   Mom was looking down in tears, and she nodded her head.   Ashley came back and wrapped her arms around my neck.  Anne made a coughing sound as she slowly approached.   Mom joined Ashley and the three of us hugged as tight as we could.   

 

"Take care of my baby. Okay Anne?" 

 

"Always Ms. Jordon.  Always."  Anne said with a smile.   Anne Jones was my favorite of all the nurses.   She was a heavy set woman with a huge heart and loved the color purple.  She wasn't much taller than me and wore wire framed glasses that enlarged her brown eyes.  She would be blind without them.  Her brown hair hung to her mid back  and she was always in a goofy mood.   Trying her hardest to make me smile.  She was a good person.  She works the night shift at the hospital and on slow nights would come into my room and just talk with me.   She knew I was so scared to go to sleep.   The other nurses would push volumes or other sleep aids.  Anne just talked to me.   About anything, and everything.

 

She just turned thirty earlier this year and was engaged to be married to what she says is the 'biggest SOB I ever met, but he loves me and I love him.'  She found out early in life she would not be able to have children.   She wouldn't go into much detail on why.   The one night we touched on it, she became upset and had to leave the room.   I felt bad, but she told me to not worry.   I asked why she would put herself into a place like this, a place of death.  She said this is where God led her, and she doesn't consider it a place of a death but a station.   A station where souls came to get on the train to heaven.  I liked that thought.  

 

"Well Alexis, we have your favorite tonight."   She said to me with a smile.   I looked up to her and nodded my approval.   I checked myself to make sure I had everything, most importantly the rose.  "Oh my Gosh, is that a purple rose?"   I hid it from her giggling. She peeked over my shoulder, then to the next then finally on her tip toes over my head.  "You will not keep it from me.   I must have it!"  She deepened her voice to try to sound sinister.  I eeked at her as she turned us around and we headed back toward the sliding doors of the hospital.   I made a quick peek back up to the Dove on the cross, but it had gone. 

 

"Do You know the name of The Magician from tonight's show?"  I can't get him out of my head.   I wished he had stuck around a bit I would have been fascinated to ask him about his tricks.   I loved magicians and magic.   I remember watching for hours on Youtube any and all magicians.  I had never seen a show like his done.

 

"I am sorry, I don't.   I will ask.  I know he wasn't scheduled.   He actually showed up, impressed Rick and John so they let him go on.   How he did what he did...Girl, that's why I love this place.   You just don't see all of the things I get to see.   He was here for a reason, and I don't think that show was the only reason."  I didn't know who Rick and John were but I had heard her reference them before and I think they were bosses of some compacity.   Not that it mattered to me, I am curious if she was right.   Was he here for another reason?   What reason would he be here for?   Maybe to see someone?    I placed my fingers on the gem that had fallen under my shirt.  

 

"He gave me an expensive looking Necklace.   Is he still here?  I would love to give it back to him and talk to him if possible."   I pulled it out from under my shirt, which I don't remember putting it under there, but nevertheless I showed it to Anne.  

 

"I haven't seen him, but that doesn't mean he didn't go to a different ward.   We were doing Multiple shows this evening.   I tell you what, let's get you back to your room so you can eat, and If I can I will bring him up to you."  I filled with excitement, joy, and anticipation.  I had to tell myself to relax, I don't want to set myself up for disappointment.   I needed to shower, and change.   I didn't want him to see me like this again. No No No, this wouldn't do.   I wanted to impress him.   I didn't want his pity.   I went to trace my fingers around the gem again, and it was under my shirt again.   How?   I just laid it flat.   Maybe I did it when I was excited.   Doesn't matter.    I needed to get ready.  

Author's Note

Very Rough 1st Draft. Critiques, complaints, hate mail, suggestions will be accepted.

Reviews

[luciddreamer]

Amazing :)

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

this is absolutely beautiful writing~

[Misty Blue Eyes]

this is amazing Matthew... i loved reading it. i dont have anything bad to say just keep writing

[Julie Beth]

so far this is amazing let me know when u have more up

[Alexa Tasch]

no really any complaints. just as good as chapter one!

[Amber Tasch]

no hate mail. i thought it was awesome!