In a clouded haze....

......sitting here alone thinking of you

Sitting in a clouded haze

counting my numbered days.

Memories of you are all I have.

Some even make me laugh.

 

My favorite remains under the Oak tree.

We were filled with glee.

Sitting side by side

our love with no place to hide.

 

You were in my arms.

Being courted by my charms.

We shared a gentle kiss.

That's what I miss.

 

Sitting in a clouded haze

counting my numbered days.

A tear falls from my eye

as the memories make me cry.

 

I remember how we use to dance

using it as a chance

to see who could be the bigger tease.

But we would always please.

 

 From the touching of our lips

to the grinding of our hips.

Showered by your scent.

I knew what true love meant.

 

Sitting in a clouded haze

counting my numbered days.

Wishing I made a better choice

so I could hear your voice.

 

Haunted by that day

I knew it wasn't okay.

You said we couldn't be,

that you were leaving me.

 

I didn't understand why

Just wanted to try

You said my anger was too much

and you no longer enjoyed my touch.

 

Sitting in a clouded haze

counting my numbered days.

You promised me our love would never end.

Guess it was a game of pretend.

 

I didn't know what to do

but I never meant to hurt you.

I needed us.

It was a MUST!

 

You were MINE!

Everything will be fine!

But the RAGE..!

Now...now I am in this cage...

 

Sitting in a clouded haze

counting my numbered days.

Author's Note

Second draft of the poem. Hope it's still as good as the original.

Reviews

[Obsidian]

A transition from happy memories to heartache Your rhymes make this a smooth read, and the repetition of the numbered days encapsulates the feeling. One wonders what happened on that day...why are you in the cage? Intriguing and leaves the reader to interpret the possibilities. Well written for sure.

[Matthew Kult]

Thank you for stopping in. It's appreciated.

Matthew

[Maximus]

Wow that was written from the heart, it's an honour to read a poem like this, it really made me emotional... It carries depth of your writing skills with suitable words selection.

[Matthew Kult]

Thanks for the read. It's appreciated.

Matthew

[Ken Simm.]

An aching love gently and beautifully remembered until it finished and turned out not to be. Been there bought the tee.

[Matthew Kult]

Thanks for stopping in. It is appreciated

Matthew

[Kim S.]

This is so very beautiful and heartfelt, such a lovely read.
I didn't get to read the first one, but I am sure it is just as nice.
keep writing always

[Matthew Kult]

Thanks for stopping in. It's appreciated.

Matthew

[Kim S.]

not a problem

[Betty Hermelee]

Some memories are pleasurable and some are haunting, miserable enough to cause angst….most of the poem was on a poignant note with rather pleasing memories, but then it turned rather sinister and it seemed as though you were left almost longing it to end …..very well written with expressive wordage….
Thank you for your honest and for sharing this poem.
Warmly, B

[Matthew Kult]

Thanks for the read. It is appreciated

Matthew

[Betty Hermelee]

You're vert welcome Matthew
Warmly, B

[Brittany Defranco]

Damn that was an emotional roller coaster. Definitely a good read!

[Matthew Kult]

Thank you for the kind words

Matthew

[Brittany Defranco]

No problem!

[emmajoy]

'A tear falls from my eye ~ as the memories make me cry.'

Such a sadness.. seems as if the now can never go back to how it was.. never.

Your words touch thoughts and memories, make readers analyse their own past, perhaps. not in mirror image but in how it was once upon a time.
Writers can't shape poetry like this. it is or it is not. Sad, desperate.. and so it seems, the distruction of what might have been.

[Matthew Kult]

thank you for the time emma

Matthew

[Weeping willow]

Very good in the flow of emotions,memories have a way of following us through the years;-]

[Matthew Kult]

Thank you much.

Matthew

[BlackCl0ud]

Wonderful, though I agree with Bard Constanine, this is a near rhyme poem and I think the fact that your rhymes are slightly imperfect brings out your "crookedness" all the more. I enjoyed how you ended the poem, for some odd reason I have I feeling you're in prison . . . for murder, just a thought. Excellent write. ~ BlackCl0ud

[Alicia Schroeder]

I like this, it is deep and emotional and I like the vibe.. Awesome!!