We always knew

" Stop it! Just stop!"

Do you know how much it hurts to just see and feel the pain inside burning in me. I cant take it! please stop!" 

" Damn you Tollison. Ive done everything for this family. You ungrateful sacks of garbage."

I clenched my fists together and trembled. I wanted to explode. To smash the walls and just stay in a hole. but lifes not like that, we just sit there like heartbroken decorations.

" Im ungrateful? You spent ALL OF OUR MONEY at the pub. You bring all your agony home and i cant sleep. I cant breathe. I cant live".

  He stood taller then iI have ever seen him before. His head touching the ceiling as the red infuriating fists balled up. He pushed over the tables. The glass shattering like the bang of a thunderstorm. I backed away. I tried to find a way to pull away. The couch hugged the back of my legs. I was cornered. I knew what was coming I had always knew. 

His piercing eyes steamed with the same anger that cursed the house. He stood in front of me. Grabbing my shoulder he pushed me into the wall. With a huge thud , he punched me in the gut.  It knocked all the air from my lungs. I fell over in agony. I put my hands frond my head to shield myself from the furry of his work boots. blow after blow, every part of my back was met with agonizing pain. I was helpless. He was my father. This was my life. 

He got tired. Called me more names and sat down on the porch. The sound of a bottle clinging against the door post. Every part of my body ached and i couldnt stand. I was paralyzed with fear and anger. With every once of strength I stood. Walked over the the kitchin and grabbed a knife. The glimmering steel took a hideous shape as I held it in my bruised hand. I limped toward the door. Using the couch as support. my vision was getting hazy.  The room rotated over and over. Halfway there, and halfway dead. I stood at the door. A screen dividing the devil living i under the roof.  All i had to do was open the door...  I couldnt do it... The anger inside was uncontrollable. I couldnt open the door.. I couldnt..  I squeezed the handle once and then let it fall to the floor.  Just in time for a tear to fall to the ground.