Darkness

A short rhyming bedtime story, written easy to read, for children.

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Once, there was a happy girl,

Who’d dream and dance all day.

She loved to chat with all her friends,

and all the games they’d play.

 

But most of all, she loved to draw

and share her art, not shy.

And she was drawing when she saw

The black dot in the sky.

 

At first, it seemed a tiny thing,

soon hidden by a cloud.

But when she looked a second time,

she shouted, “Hey!”, out loud.

 

The dot had grown by quite a bit,

and kept on as she stared.

It grew so fast, she couldn’t sit.

She ran inside, so scared.

 

She shouted, “Daddy, where are you?”,

and found him in his room.

She dragged him to the window,

where they shared the view of doom.

 

The world outside was wiped away,

all disappeared and gone.

The blackness that consumed the day

was creeping up the lawn.

 

So, Daddy shut the curtains,

and he turned on every light,

but soon that darkness was inside

to take away their sight,

 

and cover every sound,

so all the world made not a peep.

And, soon that happy girl had found

that it was time to sleep.

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End

 

 

Author's Note

Please let me know what you think.

Reviews

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

So very dark and I enjoyed it. You have such a complex mind my friend that I have no doubt it is constantly filled with many thoughts of art yet to be written. As good a poet as you are you shouldn't go too long without writing at least something each day or so. I just know there is a huge treasure chest of unwritten poetry in that mind of yours. You should be writing more because just like this poem and your other works it's proof your a writer. As an eternal optimist I hope a flood of ideas rains down on you so we can get more new art out of you.

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading and the encouragement, Carlos! :)
I post poems when I feel like it; which isn't that often, but I dont feel a rush to do it. The pleasure that I get out of writing a poem, comes from sculpting thoughts into patterns. I enjoy the puzzle of it. But, its not a thing I feel like doing every day. Or, maybe the time between my postings is simple a drawn out pause for dramatic effect. Haha

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

I get it my friend and respect your answer. As a fan of your work I simply wish to see more current art of yours. But that is just a bit of selfishness on my part. Art shouldn't be forced or rushed. Thank you again Matt.

[Laz K.]

It's a great idea expressed in a great way. The steady, regular rhymes suggest the steady spreading of the darkness. It's a hairsbreadth away from being a good horror story.

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Laz! :)
What would make it good?

[Laz K.]

I meant that the story can be interpreted as either a harmless bedtime story about the gradual arrival of night, or alternatively as a sinister tale (darkness/sleep often represents death, for example)

[mattavelli]

Thanks for the feedback. :)

[serenity14]

This was very enchanting and spooky to me. Really enjoyed it!

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Serenity! :)

[Stella Armour]

Children have such vivid imaginations especially in their art work, thank goodness she had an understanding daddy . I love poems about children :)

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Stella! :)

[Stella Armour]

you are welcome, i love reading good poetry which yours is :

[Fran Marie]

This is indeed a
a lovely bedtime story
for children

Loving the smooth
flowing rhythm n'
rhyme..nice work Matt

[mattavelli]

Thanks, Fran! :)

[Betty Hermelee]

This tells the story of what seems to be a drastic weather event and how destructive it can be….fearful of losing your possessions..lights go out and darkness prevails…. The calm after the storm is destruction everywhere…..thanks for sharing!
Best, B










P

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Betty! :)

[Betty Hermelee]

My pleasure 😊

[Yuet]

Story telling poem, invites a lot of imagnation, father 's reaction is typical of a regular adult
Darkness covers the sound too, i like this
"End" is a wonder here

[mattavelli]

Thank you for reading, Yuet! :)

[Relic]

Like one of those outer limit episodes where a piece of space debris is getting closer and closer before it swallows and destroys the world. Clever rhyming here. Good job.

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Relic! :)

[Neville]

... amazingly, this is precisely what it say's on the packet .. A short rhyming bedtime story, written easy to read, for children.. bravo :)

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Neville! :)

[Neville]

... you are most welcome .. my pleasure :)

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Amaaaaazzzzing I loved it
I love the style
Where is your imagination fired from Jupiter ?? Great 👍

[mattavelli]

Thanks, I just wanted to scare some kids. Haha

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

Lol
I’m a big kid still scared check the house if I wake up at one am
Wish I didn’t

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

I like your narrative poems. They are fun to read and interesting. This was surreal, a good surreal, like an episode of The Twilight Zone where you'd expect aliens to be involved or something. Something so simple as a black dot that becomes so dramatic due to its getting bigger. Very cool. Wonderfully explained and expressed. tyfs

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Cyprian! :)