Playing With Dolls

For fans of He-Man action figures

 

I have a hobby, where I have conversations in my mind, through which I can examine my anxieties and play out scenarios, looking for solutions and forming opinions, like a little kid playing with his toys:

 

He-Man's Army vs. the evil alliance of GI-Joe and Barbie the Amazon Queen, because she’s so much bigger. Watching this small boy, as He-Man is continuously repulsed by the hordes of Barbi's Dream House, as Fisto is getting his head ground away by the smoking wheel of the stationary bicycle, and it seems Skeletor is going to get the last laugh… but wait.... something’s changed... You see a boost in the kid's demeanor, a surge of enthusiasm, as he reaches some emotion that needs no rationality. 

The good guys are supposed to win!!

Suddenly there’s a terrible earthquake and the dream house smashes against the wall, forever destroyed, and to hell with my sister. As He-Man approaches the wreckage, he finds GI-Joe, his legs severed and unarmed except for one grenade; which hits He-Man in the chest, blasting the unstoppable man-beast across the room. While he's lying there unconscious, that sadistic b***h Barbie, with one leg bent the wrong way at the knee, and her clothes hanging to expose those lush nippleless breasts, grabs the unattended Sword of Greyscull and staggers toward the fallen hero. Is this the end? Wait! What’s that!?!...  Why its Fisto's right arm, with its steel fist, the only signifying piece remaining from his earlier dismemberment. It seems possessed by the spirit of all things that this little boy thinks to be good and right. This gauntlet of righteousness smashes Barbie in the face, resulting in the boy ripping her apart, socket joints popping away from the abdomen, as he raises his hands, allowing the pieces to fall through his fingers, past his maniacal face to some forgotten pile on the floor.

Later that day the boy's dog died, having choked on one of Barbi's legs. The boy never could shake that memory of Gusto, his Chihuahua, whom he’d named after that feeling he gets when he knows he is going to live forever, lying there on his back, dead eyes staring at the ceiling fan, legs sticking up, with a demented fifth leg sticking out of his mouth.

Reviews

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Tragic and yet a bit of irony mixed in with demented imagination of a child. I should know. In my youth my G.I Joe would often make trips to my cousin's barbie doll house to play doctor, or in Joe's devious mind army medic. She would often get mad finding her barbie doll completely nude in compromising positions no 12 yr old should know. This was a good story though I wish it would have had more detail. Like where the hell was Ken doll during all this carnage.

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Carlos! :)

[ah]

another great write, the first part was hilarious, the end was perfect, thanx for posting

[Yemaya Theresa]

Hahaha, little boys, Children. They are invinsible a Kingdom on to themselves. Never thinking of what will happen if i leave Barbies body parts laying around. Hey, I say the b***h deserved it. Barbie not the dog. I hate Barbie.Tell me one real wombmyn with those measurements. I will tell you one wombmyn who is toppling over.

[SweetPeachesAlways]

This is STILL my favorite line of all, Scarecrow! - "that sadistic b***h Barbie, with one leg bent the wrong way at the knee, and her clothes hanging to expose those lush nippleless breasts,"
Awesome write! Another unique Mattavelli piece! Author, author!

[Monners]

omg. This is funny but the ending kind of shocked me. I used to play with barbies with my sister when I was little...brought back memories of my brother intruding with his cars plowing over our barbie land.

[JC Fox]

He-man rocks! And that is twisted about the dog dying, choking on a little plastic leg. That particular part shouldn't be funny but I laughed anyways. :-D