Ballade for Denial

Ballade

Should you attempt to ease my pain,
take warning, mine's a toxic brew,
with any spillage sure to stain
and burn its noxious way down through
those armored plates protecting you,
concealing that soft heart beneath,
a treat this beast will slowly chew...
the hopes left stuck between sharp teeth.

My dark mind's torn and hardly sane,
left barren since her love withdrew,
and charities would but profane
those memories I hold askew,
those cloudy thoughts of love so true,
those daggers hid in yearning's sheath
that slice when others misconstrue...
the hopes left stuck between sharp teeth.

Go hang from your damned sugarchain
of coaxes meant to help renew.
There are no passions to regain.
There's nothing left here to imbue.
My shattered rose rejects your glue.
It's not a blossom for your wreath.
So, toss your thoughts of breaking through...
the hope's left stuck between sharp teeth.

And, if a doubt remains as to
the character that's underneath,
then tease my shell and watch me spew
the hopes left stuck between sharp teeth.

Author's Note

I let the idea of writing a ballade tumble around in my head for about a week, then wrote it all in one late night go. Why did a monster pop out?
Please let me know what you think.

Check out this link for an explanation of the ballade form and a lovely poem.
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/RichardJ/1619403/

Reviews

[Bhuyanshi Talukdar]

Your poem is raw and emotional. The imagery and language used to describe your pain and the toxicity of your emotions are powerful. Your use of repetition in the poem emphasizes the idea that the hope you have left is fragile and easily shattered. The message of the poem is clear: you are in pain and you do not want anyone to try to ease it. The last stanza is particularly striking, as it suggests that others should be cautious in approaching you because of the intensity of your emotions. Overall, the poem is well-written and conveys a strong message about the complexities of pain and the difficulty of healing.

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, and the feedback! :)

[jeannemarie coulter]

often when i sit at my work table and start to sculpt a lump of clay what i intended to create becomes something entirely different...i talk about this in the poem, "UGLY GOLEM"...sometimes something lives inside the form that demands to be seen...well penned word tapestry, my friend











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[mattavelli]

Thanks, Jeannemarie :)

[Roland Petrov]

Excellent, Old Chap! Yes, we went the same route with this form; the ballade coaxed it out of us. Your C line is a lot more original than mine, though; it's the one I wish I'd thought of. There may be an error in your fourth line: it brought me to an abrupt halt, so I counted the syllables and it appears that one is missing. Apart from that, this seems perfect to me. I'll be interested to see what Richard has to say.

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Rland. :)
My fourth line: Vile is given two syllables. vī - el --- that's how it comes out of my mouth. Dictionaries give it one syllable as vīl, but when I attempt to speak that, it sounds like angry German. I'm just bad at following rules. :p
Ya, this form took over once I got started. I made a few changes at the end, but it pretty much wrote itself.

[mattavelli]

I meant "Roland" :p

[Roland Petrov]

Ah, reading it like that works.

[mattavelli]

Richard made me change it.... Those dictionaries amount to "mob rule", Roland. I need a silky southern/British accent.

[Roland Petrov]

I like it better now.

[terry smith]

Well done my friend!!! why should a ballad not be about monsters! you are a wordsmith,,,I but a writer.

[mattavelli]

Thanks, Terry. :)
Your writing shows your imagination, thoughtsmith. Have you tried any of the formal poetry beyond haiku?

[terry smith]

no, but I shall give it a go when these voices stop telling me what to write!! :D

[mattavelli]

Take a CNS depressant and send them my way. I could use some help. :p

[terry smith]

telapathicly done and done. :)

[terry smith]

oh, and one of them snores as he is bored by the others.

[mattavelli]

Thank you, thank you. :)

[terry smith]

write one about a boring boar and his mistresses three and of how such a pig as none was he.

[terry smith]

they could be called Topsey( the large breasted) , Turvey( the acrobat) and Curl my Toes( the s**t). :)

[mattavelli]

Ooh, I like bacon.... May need to blow his house down. Muhahahahahaha