Ballade for Denial

Ballade

Should you attempt to ease my pain,
take warning, mine's a toxic brew,
with any spillage sure to stain
and burn its noxious way down through
those armored plates protecting you,
concealing that soft heart beneath,
a treat this beast will slowly chew...
the hopes left stuck between sharp teeth.

My dark mind's torn and hardly sane,
left barren since her love withdrew,
and charities would but profane
those memories I hold askew,
those cloudy thoughts of love so true,
those daggers hid in yearning's sheath
that slice when others misconstrue...
the hopes left stuck between sharp teeth.

Go hang from your damned sugarchain
of coaxes meant to help renew.
There are no passions to regain.
There's nothing left here to imbue.
My shattered rose rejects your glue.
It's not a blossom for your wreath.
So, toss your thoughts of breaking through...
the hope's left stuck between sharp teeth.

And, if a doubt remains as to
the character that's underneath,
then tease my shell and watch me spew
the hopes left stuck between sharp teeth.

Author's Note

I let the idea of writing a ballade tumble around in my head for about a week, then wrote it all in one late night go. Why did a monster pop out?
Please let me know what you think.

Check out this link for an explanation of the ballade form and a lovely poem.
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/RichardJ/1619403/

Reviews

[Bhuyanshi Talukdar]

Your poem is raw and emotional. The imagery and language used to describe your pain and the toxicity of your emotions are powerful. Your use of repetition in the poem emphasizes the idea that the hope you have left is fragile and easily shattered. The message of the poem is clear: you are in pain and you do not want anyone to try to ease it. The last stanza is particularly striking, as it suggests that others should be cautious in approaching you because of the intensity of your emotions. Overall, the poem is well-written and conveys a strong message about the complexities of pain and the difficulty of healing.

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, and the feedback! :)

[Rick Puetter]

Reading this again. Same rhyme repeating each stanza. Love that. I have one or two like this. The meter is precise. Like that, too. To me more important than the rhyme. Combined, very nice indeed. Most difficult and highly structured. This takes extreme discipline and creativity. My only (very small) quibble is that lots of the rhymes are properly internal rhymes and not rhymes at the ends of a thought (sentence or clause). In the strictest of forms, I prefer to see those written as the internal rhymes that they are. But still, my God, this is very nice, and as captivating as before. Not many on WC could even approach a write such as this. If I just consume this whole, I am refreshed and deeply satisfied. Wonderful job. No change in my high rating.

My very best regards, and I'm sorry I have been a stranger to your writes.

Rick

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Rick! :)
Someone once commented that he liked my use of enjambments. So, I looked the word up and assumed he was showing off his vocabulary. Haha
I often do or don't use them to "enhance" the rhythm of my poems. Call it attitude. Haha

[Rick Puetter]

Yep, this is certainly a stylistic choice, isn't it? Not my preference, but others are free to have theirs, of course. Best regards!

[Einstein Noodle]

Wow indeed! i echo D. Connolly's review .. to produce this in such fine ballade form in just one sitting tells me the rattling around for a week or so was well worth the patience .. well done says i! a real blessing to read ..so relateable .. and bigger than life perspective tells my empathetic self to resist trying to console such a one ..just offer to sit in silence with a friends deep gloom .. just really good stuff my friend!! can't say it enough
E.

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Einstein! :)
You caught my meaning perfectly.
This was a fun poem to write, but a tough one to get started. The ballade form got me hooked on eight syllable lines and more complex rhyming patterns, but this is by far the most restrictive poem I've written as far as rhyming goes; only three rhyming sounds, with the second repeated fourteen times. That's what I enjoy about writing poetry, the puzzle of it. Have you written any formal poetry?

[Einstein Noodle]

i have tried a couple of sonnets and one far east ancient form in collaboration with Zahra ..and haiku and senryu as well... i feel the need to ground myself by trying restrictive forms from time to time ... i believe it gives the wings to free form .. :)

[D Connolly]

Wow, this speaks volumes, and is very relatable. I kind of read the 1st part like there was one person trying to make me feel better, and I just wasn't hearing it. Then the 2nd part it was as if it was directed at the person who caused the pain in the first place. Mmmm, "yearning's sheath"; I like that. It makes me think of how tempting it is to exact vengeance. Overall, to me it speaks of love's hope, and those jerks that just don't take care of it. We all have a monster, just don't feed it too much, ok?

[mattavelli]

Thank you for reading and the feedback, D! :)

[Lorry]

Another masterful creation Sir. As your authors note suggests, sometimes having such a thought playing in the back burner of your mind, toying with the thought before reaching for the pen, surprises us with how so freely the words flow onto the page, so effortlessly. And reads so perfectly like a ballade too. Bravo.

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Nemo! :)
This one was a lot of fun to write. Have you tried the ballade form?
read moreThank you, Nemo! :)
This one was a lot of fun to write. Have you tried the ballade form?
Lately my brain stove has been broken. Haha, nothing has come to mind to write about in a few months.

[Hebe]

Very strong words and meaning.....and cleverly written describing vengeance!

[mattavelli]

Thank you for reading, Hebe! :)

[LovePoetry0004]

Really made me think! I love love when poems make you think deeply!

[mattavelli]

Thank you for reading, Love! :)

[WillaDanvers]

This is brilliant! Kept me intrigued right to the end, and I am glad I did. It is a fantastic read, well built and I do love the words you have chosen. Keep writing!

[mattavelli]

Thank you for reading, Willa! :)

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

This piece lends itself to the construction of outward reliance on the reader, without actually doing it, a most provocative notion by al accounts that demands re-reading at every stage, well done, good read.

[Noah Wayverlynn]

Great write. I enjoyed it

[mattavelli]

Thank you for reading. :)