Pantoum

Wow, this is a tricky form...

The pantoum is the poet's task.
It twists the mind, that rhyming test.
I'm left with a strong need to ask,
is there a method you'd suggest?

It twists the mind, that rhyming test.
Rewrites add wrinkles to my brain.
Is there a method you'd suggest
to keep me from going insane?

Rewrites add wrinkles to my brain
as I struggle to end my phrase.
to keep me from going insane,
could you offer a little praise?

As I struggle to end my phrase,
I'm left with a strong need to ask,
could you offer a little praise?
The pantoum is the poet's task!

Author's Note

Thank you Richard, for introducing me to the Pantoum form.
Here is a link to Richard's page. He explains this the poetic form in his author's note.
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/RichardJ/1612644/

Before you check that out, please let me know what you think.

Reviews

[Sultrysoul]

I like it and Richard is a genius. I hope to learn even a portion of his skills. You my friend are very talented and I enjoyed your rising to the challenge. You're a great sport

[mattavelli]

Thanks, SS.

[Sultrysoul]

You are welcome........... :)

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Very well done, Matt. It's always difficult to write a poem when you need it to rhyme. Like it very much. :) Rudi

[mattavelli]

Thanks, Rudi. :)

[Ron Spice]

At first I was like, "What the heck's a pantoum? Is it a cute furry animal or something?" After reading your poem, I took a liking to the form immediately. I enjoy how you write poetry about poetry. I believe that you accomplished three main tasks here: 1) You introduced the reader to an unfamiliar, challenging form. 2) You effectively described the anguish of the author, attempting to earn some admiration. 3) You showcased the pantoum's hypnotizing effect that draws the reader in and doesn't let him/her go. Well done! You better do another one of these!

[mattavelli]

Thanks, Ron. :)
Ive got another one coming. It needs a bit of tlc.

[Willard Wells]

I am already close enough to insane so that I will pass on trying this form.. Well Done

[mattavelli]

Thanks, Willard. :)

[jeannemarie coulter]

your writing is always thought provoking and well penned...keep going as you do...thank you

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Jeannemarie. :)

[marcus]

a difficult form, good job!

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Marcus. :)

[terry smith]

sounds like a task for the insane!lol! nice work though!

[mattavelli]

Thanks, Terry.

[Gee]

Mmmmmm,you've obviously grasped it Matt reading the other reviews so well done my friend

[mattavelli]

Thanks, Gee.

[Richard🖌]

My Dear Matt,
You are so very welcome, my fine, astute friend.
In your usual flippantly-humorous (dare I say, "cocky" … LOL!) demeanor, and in perfect, count, flow, rhymes, and tempo, you have precisely described one's initial angst at attempting this truly challenging and demanding form.
I cannot imagine you've inspired very many to try it, but what I can say is that your flexibility and versatility highlight your ability to become a true master poet, and it is practicing such stringent poetical requirements and disciplines as this form exacts that will assuredly facilitate it.
It is my opinion that, though, one can compose of any topic, in any form they so choose, it would seem the effort put forth to compose this particular piece could have delivered a far more powerful poetic message … perhaps, you might give this form another try and really blow our socks off with your amazing skills and depthless creativity.

I am truly honored you accept my little challenges, and your earnest efforts never disappoint my confidence in you — thank you, Matt, for the sheer pleasure … beautifully done! ⁓ Richard

[mattavelli]

And I said I would stop my whining about poetic forms... Haha
Thank you, Richard. This form was a challenge!
In my first attempt at the Pantoum, I thought ok, I'll start with a pretty/meaningful line, tell a story, and work my way back around... I wanted to create a sort of circular thought, but I wound up with a spiral that kept growing as I tried to make a logical phrase from the last stanza...
This one is a product of luck and frustration. Haha... I'm going to go back to the first one in a couple days, with fresh thoughts.

[Richard🖌]

Good for you, Matt … great determination makes for a great artist! : )

[Cassie]

This is good Matt, I offered praise..Didnt I

[mattavelli]

Yes' you did. Thanks you, Cassie. :)