Pantoum

Wow, this is a tricky form...

The pantoum is the poet's task.
It twists the mind, that rhyming test.
I'm left with a strong need to ask,
is there a method you'd suggest?

It twists the mind, that rhyming test.
Rewrites add wrinkles to my brain.
Is there a method you'd suggest
to keep me from going insane?

Rewrites add wrinkles to my brain
as I struggle to end my phrase.
to keep me from going insane,
could you offer a little praise?

As I struggle to end my phrase,
I'm left with a strong need to ask,
could you offer a little praise?
The pantoum is the poet's task!

Author's Note

Thank you Richard, for introducing me to the Pantoum form.
Here is a link to Richard's page. He explains this the poetic form in his author's note.
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/RichardJ/1612644/

Before you check that out, please let me know what you think.

Reviews

[Fran Marie]

haha I do remember
this first Pantoum
of yours.. you wrote
so we'll and if
Richard approves
oh wow ..you aced it
Richard knows his
form craft for sure
those 5 years went by
fast

[mattavelli]

Thanks again, Fran! :)

[emipoemi]

This is a very fun and funny poem! full of wit and hilarity. If you don't mind my saying, some of your disyllabics fall on the wrong sylLAble. But since none of them require to rhyme with anything, there's not much need to fret over which words to replace them with. This is overall fantastic, and it left me with a smile of laughter. Well done!

[mattavelli]

Thanks, emi! :)

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I think you did an excellent job of infusing this pantoum with humor and wit. It gives wings to the weight of the form, lending character to its rigid face. Well done.

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Linda! :)

[Shannon]

Mental gymnastics at their finest. The need to choose each phrase with the ability to repurpose it in the next stanza, while keeping coherence. Excellent.

[mattavelli]

Thanks, S. :)
Ya, this form can be a strain. All wordplay and no visuals here... seemed a good one to send you.

[Shannon]

I appreciate it. I can handle some for sure. Just felt need to warn someone who is primarily a poet that I only read some of it!

[.]

I agree, Mattavelli.

A very tricky form of poetic writing. I had to google "Pantoum" to grasp an understanding of what its poetic requirements are.
I think you did well here, although the style is just not for me. Too much focus on structure and style just takes the emotion and passion out of a piece of writing. Just my opinion. No disrespect for your poem here.
A good effort.

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Doodley. This style is not for me either. It was for fun. I like to try new things. Yes, too much of something is bad, but when the goal is to challenge myself, I don't think following the rules is too much. - have fun!

[GreenShoes]

I always enjoy coming across a poet who attempts the poetry forms. Like you, I, too, have written a Pantoum and titled it "Pantoum." You've done a fine job with this rather difficult form. :)

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Karen. I found this form to be a real test of my working memory. Haha

[softlyfall]

Mr Pantoum doth preen and strut,
however he is getting old
and doth repeat himself, the nut.
(and doth repeat himself, the nut.)
I dare say doth this sound too bold?

[mattavelli]

I had to toot my horn here. This form gave me a headache. I was proud to get one done. Haha
Thanks for reading. :)

[softlyfall]

It's kind of like a ballerina doing a dervish dance, then.

[Zahra]

This is very amusing and very well done. I didn't know about this form. Well done

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Zahra. :)

[Nico Reznick]

Fluent use of the form. Very polished.

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Nico.

[dan]

A tricky verse form indeed. I belonged to another poetry website (Starlite Café) until I was booted out for expressing my opinion to the moderators too, shall I say, honestly? They would issue contests that asked the members to write in multitudes of verse forms, so I am a bit familiar with Pantoum. It is so difficult because not only must you rhyme (I mostly write free verse now...I feel to constrained by the obligation to think of the perfect words to a line...only to have to change them to conform to the rhyme scheme). But you handled it very well, telling a nice idea/story while still adhering to the format. Very well done, Matt! take care...dan

[mattavelli]

Thanks, Dan. I checked out the starlitecafe cafe, but didn't post anything there. I didn't like the rule they've posted.