My Garden: by Sultrysoul & Mattavelli

My life has been a garden,
with stones set by my hands
paving paths I proudly walk,

and blossoms coaxed to please my eyes,
In clusters dense beneath blue skies
Where I shine on with my thoughts.

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And while strolling paths of yesterdays,
the lilies of my youth flaunt vibrantly
in the hanging fragrance of exuberance.

But like all things that face the sun,
they cast shadows, and I'm undone
as thoughts sink toward the grey;

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where brittle flowers rattle,
adding dust to the stale breeze,
in an applause to my delusions.

And as I turn to chase my fading grace
I stumble on loose paving stones
that crumble with my pride into the dirt.

-------------------------------------------

My hands move through the soil
while butterflies sprout from the skies
to greet a virgin rose.

And feeling the cool grass between my toes
I test a thorn beneath my thumb
to taste the contrasts stirred in mild pain.

Author's Note

Soultrysoul
http://www.writerscafe.org/Delicious

Reviews

[.]

A poem of lovely images.

I admire your attempt to co-write a poem with another writer here on this site. It is a difficult thing to attempt. Especially when the writer's involved may have different styles of writing.

This is a fitting title for this poem. A nice flow of images.

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Doodley. :)
I enjoy collaborating with other poets.

[softlyfall]

A bit disjointed, some parts are excellent though..
thoughts sunk toward the grey
in the hanging fragrance of exuberance
to taste the contrasts stirred in kind pain ( tepid but)
in an applause to my delusions..
these are all excellent lines.
However, the images of sprouting butterflies and rattling flowers are awkward and "between my thumb" is a misnomer.
All in all, good...though somewhat seems a bit like a synthesis of a more mature poet with a less mature one.

[mattavelli]

I'm glad you liked it. :)
Misnomer... oh, I think you're creativity is showing. :p

[softlyfall]

no dear sir... there is no space between thumb and.... nothing else
I am hella creative, but that's just fact

[mattavelli]

Pretty lady, the line reads... beneath my thumb...
The grass is between my toes.

[softlyfall]

Oh yeah, will you look at that. I guess I was just rattled by the butterflies hehe

[elko]

Very well written, I was amazed just reading the first few lines! You both did an outstanding job. I want to see more collaborations with you two!

[mattavelli]

Thanks :)
I'd like to collaborate with you.

[elko]

Oh, really? That would be delightful. Do you have a topic in mind? I'm very good with emotions and nature, but it's up to you.

[mattavelli]

I'll send you a mail. :)

[elko]

Alright! I look forward to it.

[dan]

Matt, This piece is so well written with a feel to it that is virtually mystical yet totally natural. The imaginative wording coupled with the presentation formatting employed make for an imagery-filled write that is as snuggling as a soft willow breeze. Please tell SS that I think you and she should collaborate more often; and please don't forget to RR me. take care...dan

[Richard🖌]

Ahhh, Matt and SS!
A most stunning and captivating cowrite by two of my favorite poets … how much better can it get?
I must admit that I've yet read more deeply beautiful lines in flowing effervescence than those the both of you have inspired from each another's core wonderment and skills … whew, I love it!

What a distinct pleasure and privilege it has been to enjoy this virtual masterpiece of enthrallment!
Now, for another read … thanks for the sweet and tender touches of magic! ⁓ Richard

[Valentine]

This flows so well, an awesome write young man. Valentine

[mattavelli]

Thank you, valentine. :)

[E G TEN]

Hey Matt, very well balance, and flows well throughout. As if
Two is describing the same place of sanctuary. Cool Colab.
Thanks!

[mattavelli]

Thanks, E G.

[Sultrysoul]

Thank you very much. What you did with this concept was amazing. We shall do even more things that are great. Bravo.

[Willard Wells]

Very well done. Great words brought imagery throughout the piece.

[mattavelli]

Thanks, Willard.