Sonnet For Regrets

In the Italian style

The moon does seem to mirror my regret,
with light that fails to brighten skies to day,
it cannot blot those stars, so far away;
those jewels I could not reach and can't forget.

And as the weak one in heaven's duet;
that pale comparison, shining so grey,
without the strength to forge it's own display,
those beams reflect resentment for my debt.

But should we ask the sun of jealousies
or failures through the years, when one's self-tasked;
I think we'll find regrets are not so rare,

when dreams to paint your face upon black seas
or glow with lovers on the nights they basked
are shattered by your own confounding glare.

Author's Note

Please let me know what you think.

Reviews

[William Michael Reeves]

Oooh! I really like this poem! Mixing celestial laws with emotional introspection. Now that I have a full understanding of meter I can appreciate the effort and skill necessary to write a poem as illuminated as this. Crepuscular light is enough when faced with self in the mirror.

Seems you resolved the octave by asking a question in the sestet, then answer, then qualify that assertion in the last half of the sestet.

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Bill! :)
Ya, the turn comes with the sestet. Are you enjoying the form poetry?

[William Michael Reeves]

Writing sonnets hurts so good! A lot like sex. Just finished my first ballade yesterday. Almost as difficult. Richard's lessons, and his technique as a teacher, really illustrated what you had tried to help me understand way back. Meter, meter, meter! And then the punctuation! Such a satisfying pain in the brain.

You might get a kick out of the sonnet I wrote about Richard. Find 'Two Sonnets' on my second page now I think. The other one has some wordplay which might be a sonneteering no no. Advancing words. 'Once A Boulder' and 'Love Rings Fire' are recent. I have 3 cooling off in front of me now. Yes, I LOVE form poetry. Playing around with fusing different forms together too. The inspiration I found in your feedback is still in me. Thank you!

[Winslow Des Totes]

Wow. When I started this piece I honestly didn't expect it to get so intense! The language itself is seemingly casual and nonplussed but has a drastic effect on the overall tone of the work. The end itself is tricky to describe; not a cliff hanger but almost unfinished like a drawn out answer to a serious question it lingers in the air before disappearing completely. Well done. I'm favoriting for another read later.

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Winslow! :)
I like to use casual language in my poems.

[Winslow Des Totes]

It's a far more effective method than overly complicated terms that cause the reader to pause and not fully understand the piece; I try to avoid it now and get to the meat of what I'm trying to express. It definitely makes a poem more relatable too.

[GreenShoes]

Wow, really nice! I know how tough it can be to write a sonnet. You've done a beautiful job. I like it very much. :)

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Karen. :)

[Anthony Nacrelli]

I very much liked it. It used a lot of imagery and was fairly abstract, but I think over all the message still got through.

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Anthony. :)

[Ellen Kolman]

beautiful...I love it...I love your use of the moon and stars as well...BRAVO

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Ellen. I enjoyed writing it. I think it shows in the meter. Haha

[Ellen Kolman]

awesome! keep writing

[Corset]

what a lovely verse, though I have found on most occasion the sun to be unforgiving but regretful I am sure it has been many a time.

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Corset. :)

[Corset]

Very welcome :)

[softlyfall]

The iambic pentameter is really really well done, kudos, takes skill.
I would suggest in S1L3 not using "it" as the meter guide as it is grammatically pedestrian. You can use it if you end the previous sentence with a period and Let it be the subject of that sentence, however. My preference would be the classic 4,4,4,2 structure, even if the last sentence of P3 connects grammatically to the first in the volta. Or:

But should we ask the sun of jealousies
or failures through the years, when one's self-tasked;
I think we'll find regrets are not so rare,
when dreams to paint your face upon black seas.

The glow with lovers on the nights they bask
are shattered by your own confounding glare.

[mattavelli]

Thank you. :)
And thanks for the advice. This is not an English sonnet. The turn begins with the word "but".

[softlyfall]

okey dokey

[mattavelli]

This is Petrarchan sonnet. The rhyme is a bit tighter. Abba abba cde code... I prefer this form, because it allows the longer counterphrase.

[softlyfall]

I prefer the sudden snap of the English sonnet, allows for more development if theme so that the volta need not be elaborated upon to be meaningful, the meaning is drawn from the previous offered information.
There seem to be lots of things we cannot agree upon.
Perhaps just too many.

[mattavelli]

I'm sure you could change my mind if you chose.
I enjoy English sonnets too. They are fun to write.

[softlyfall]

Oddly enough, I was just now considering writing a Petrarchan sonnet, or attempting one. I love a challenge and my mind is always hungry.

[mattavelli]

Enjoy it :) I haven't had anything to write about in months.

[softlyfall]

I'm posting it now, all finished

[Damien Thibodeaux]

Eloquent words you've penned into this beautiful poem. Technically perfect. I know sonnets are very hard to write and even harder to write well. Seeing it done and done well in the Italian form is refreshing. Bravo!

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Damien.

[Damien Thibodeaux]

You're welcome.

[carolh]

This is beautiful and haunting, thank you.

[mattavelli]

Thank you for reading, Carolh.

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem is outstanding my friend.
"when dreams to paint your face upon black seas
or glow with lovers on the nights they basked
are shattered by your own confounding glare. "
Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Coyote.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[W R Stowe]

Nothing worse than having regrets about not doing something so go for the gusto

Bill