BLaTtAv3lli (Mattavelli- Ft.BLitZ3D)

my first collaboration

BLaTtAv3lli 

Mattavelli & BLitZ3D

Car bombs shake a city to the brink. 
Generals analyze it and think
It's time to go to war. 

Leave there entire race extinct

Church bells shake inside 

There strategy they rethink

Machine guns rattle in the streets.
A bullet cares not whom it meets.
It's gruesome work is done.

Bleeding sons lay dead like cattle from the heat

The pin f*****g pull it, flying chunks of meat 

Hoodlums and I.E.D's lead a reluctant retreat

Missiles launch from ships at sea;

Who is there that honestly
Can say what's right and wrong.

Drones approach, through the air silently 

Waiting they stare, just waiting but there their

Out of sight but bombs range long

All nations join the game.

The world is not the same.
It hits us all at home

A military police state

Our flag in flames

An outcome we should have known 

With a flash of light

No one's left to fight. 
A city's turned to dust.

An explosion of pearls

The harbor it rusts

Hiroshima reincarnated, the actions of flight

No more ideals.

No more appeals.
Just burn the whole thing down.

The radiations real

The isotopes peel

Turned into a nuclear playground 

Author's Note

http://www.writerscafe.org/blitzed
this link will take you to BLitZeD's page.

Reviews

[William Michael Reeves]

At war with Mr. BLitZ3D? I'll go check it out. This was powerful! Is this your first poem, or just collaboration? They're their there.

[mattavelli]

First collaboration - I enjoyed it. :)

[Cherry Pepperweb]

Hooray!! First collab! Nice job to both. I hope to see more!

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Cherry. :)

[Cherry Pepperweb]

You are kindly welcome my friend. :)

[jeannemarie coulter]

"There strategy they rethink"
there should be their in line 6...in line 17 it should be they're there...

this is a very potent poem and also thought provoking in our current political climate...my favorite lines are...Machine guns rattle in the streets.
A bullet cares not whom it meets.

overall excellent

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Jeannemarie.
I think BLitZ3D cares more about the sound than the spelling. :)
I really liked this one. I think the blend of styles brings it to life.

[jeannemarie coulter]

their is possessive so it works better in line six...there is location word as you used it in line 17 "they are there...the result just reads a bit better i think...as i said your poem or song is excellent and powerful...very well done...i admire your flashbomb style as it fits the subject...

[mattavelli]

But I didn't write those lines. Haha

[A. Fiorillo]

Sounds to me like it could be a song. I almost sense a rap song. I can hear it, I actually hear someone rapping the intensity of the lyrics. Sorry if that sounds strange!!!! Great job to both of you. :) xo

[mattavelli]

Thanks Andrea. :)

[Emily]

Vary nice wording!
Great job both of you!

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

What a war, there are no winners in such a battle. Well done, good collaboration. :) Rudi

[mattavelli]

Thanks, Rudi. Im enjoying the collaborations. :)

[Yanina McKnight]

A story intertwined into a dramatic poem. I see the terror and fear within your lines, I picture every movement in your words. I feel as though the structure of your poem intensifies the meaning of war you are expressing. The "playground" is the arena for a war that never seems to cease.
Great piece!
-Yanina

[Perkele.7885]

What we have here is aggression that is just a wee bit out of control according to my way of thinking. We have reached a point in the development of armaments that if jointly initiated by both or all sides would or could lead to a possible Armageddon. I do not believe that that is what the people of the world want.
Aggression needs a pacifier.
The world needs a better way before we all find out that it is too late to matter.

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading. Ya, we shouldn't kill each other. :)

[marcus]

Awesome power!! I really liked it!!!

[mattavelli]

Hey, it was fun, my first collaboration.

[marcus]

I like political poems!

[mattavelli]

I wasn't trying to make a political statement. I just wanted to write about destroying the world. I wrote some political poems when bush 2 was president. That guy was a monkey.

[BLitZeD]

...obviously im going to rate it 100

[mattavelli]

Nice, up my rating!