About My Fear Of Death

English sonnet sandwiched between some Eights 'n Sixes

Children of God, pity my flawed
and dull sense of self-worth.
While heaven may find you someday,
I'll return to the earth.

I'm nothing but a wisp of swirling dust,
set out to please my heart and gut; and bound
to disappear in time, as all things must,
that come from and return unto the ground.

And, like a stone that's beaten by the wind 
or twigs picked up by birds to build their nest,
those pieces forming me, upon my end,
will go back in the mix with all the rest.

And, as our world is eaten by the stars,
in time so stretched, but no concern to me,
there will be none who care about what mars
and taints my current swirling ecstasy.

I'm living with the suffocating fear,
that when i die, my mind will disappear.

So, if it seems I'm chasing dreams,
betting on illusions,
just leave me be, in reverie,
amongst my delusions.

Author's Note

Please let me know what you think.

Reviews

[William Michael Reeves]

Hey stranger. I was looking for Petrarchan sonnets by different poets. Couldn't find one that you had identified. Studying the resolution in the sestet of the octave. Ran into Richard. The one with the pen.

I tried not to be distracted by the bread and ate the meat of the sandwich first. Not sure if I can alleviate your fears, as I believe we are as organic as all around us and death takes our minds in the end. Excellent expression of fear though. I would like to think my essence might end up in a nest, of life. I really liked the sonnet and can see how you might want to add to it. The sonnet form is so brief. And you used your last quatrain to completely resolve your thoughts.

Direct me to a Petrarchan Sonnet if you have one. Thanks

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Bill! :)
I direct you to my Sonnet For Regret. Enjoy the writing. That sonnet form will inspire lots of word folding.

[marcus]

I liked it!! And we are all living in our delusions!!

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Markus.

[guy drori]

Wow, this poem was mindblowing! I liked the first line in the second stanza, "I'm nothing but a wisp of swirling dust." And you mentioning that "our world is eaten by the stars" accentuates the message of the poem even more- how we are each a grain of sand, and that even Earth is a grain of sand in the galaxy, let alone the universe, and of course the question of what will be of us when we die. Will we just be completely unconscious like before we were born? Really makes you ask questions. Enjoyed reading this

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Guy. Ya, I don't know what will happen when I die. I'd ather not find out. Haha

[guy drori]

Im right there with you on that one

[Confuser]

mattaveli: It's magnificent!! Pulled me in with the first line, and you did not disapoint. You carried an almost arrogant theme all the way through, just beautiful work. Never thought about fear of what happens when we die; I only wish my children to be happy. Great calming flow throughout, very creative throughout. Great imagery. Thanks so very much. You are talented!! Dale

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Dale. The comment made me feel good. :)

[Confuser]

My pleasure!

[Roland Petrov]

OK, I give up! I can't compete with this. Rascal challenged me to compose an English sonnet, but you've already done it sandwiched between two slices of eights and sixes! You're toying with us! Furthermore, I'm betting that you don't have any delusions!

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Roland. Ba, write the sonnet. they are fun.
You're right about my delusions. I get my info from the tv, so I know it's pure.

[AaronFreitas]

This is an awesome piece! I can relate. I know I've laid in bed many nights wondering when I die does everything in my mind just fade away and disappear or what becomes of it. "Im living with the suffocating fear; that when i die, my mind will disappear." Those lines really hit and it's almost like you stole them straight out of my thoughts. I like the rhyming in it also... overall a great piece... enjoyed it very much :)

[mattavelli]

Thanks, Aaron. I figured fear of death was something people could relate to ; so, I spammed the read requests.

[AaronFreitas]

It's definitely something all can relate to and a touchy subject which makes it great to talk about.

[Mariposa Una Lila]

Well said my friend....lovely

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Mariposa. :)

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Beautiful poem, Matt. I like every word of it. Well done. :) Rudi

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Rudi. :)

[KWP]

we are nothing but an expression of nature floating through life - ahhh yes but it is true - very nice write and I totally agree one should not live with in the confines but instead choose to express themselves in whatever form they wish this lifetime - for of the underlying intention is always love - then one is living a life most accomplished - nice words my friend and a topic well articualted XX

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, KWP, and for your comments. :)

[Willard Wells]

The age old questions of life, future and beyond. Finding peace within your own mind can be difficult. Even believing, there is often a small piece of doubt in the back of the mind for many. A very thought provoking piece. And since you are making me think my words here are done. Thanks for sharing.

[mattavelli]

Hi, Willard. Thanks for reading.

[Emily]

Lovely wording!
Well done!!

[mattavelli]

Hi, Emily. Thanks for reading and the comment.