For My Son

Sweet little boy, you're daddy's joy.
I've watched with so much pride;
from your first cries and opened eyes,
to now, learning your stride.

I watch you sleep, so very deep,
your head upon my chest;
and guess your dreams; it often seems,
they are the very best.

Your giggles make my hard heart shake.
That laugh has teared my eye.
I'm sure you'll be a bit like me;
damned handsome, honest guy.

And as you grow and off you go,
to walk your winding trail;
the things you'll learn, oh god, I yearn
to listen to that tale.

Author's Note

"Doubledown Style 1 (or) Eights 'n Sixes"
Original form created by
Richard W. Jenkins
© 1 Apr 1987

Any number of 4-line verses about anything:
Aligned left or centered.

Syllable count per verse:
8/6/8/6

Rhyme scheme:
xxxaxxxa
xxxxxb
xxxcxxxc
xxxxxb

xxxdxxxd
xxxxxe
xxxfxxxf
xxxxxe

Etc...

Here is a link to his profile:
http://www.writerscafe.org/RichardJ
Aka Rascal on WC.

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

Heart warming words for your son. Brimful with love. Really touching read and reminded me of how I feel about my year old grandson, the only baby now in the family. Well done mattavelli. Kudos on attempting such a complicated structure. Not easy to do.

Chris

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Christine! :)

[Chris Shaw]

You are welcome.

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful poem for your son.
"Your giggles make my hard heart shake.
That laugh has teared my eye.
I'm sure you'll be a bit like me;
damned handsome, honest guy. "
Our kids give us reasons to be alive. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Coyote. I like to write for him.

[Coyote Poetry]

Children give us reasons to write and you are welcome.

[KWP]

Ahhhhhh that's sweet - and you wanna know the best bit - it only gets better :-)

[mattavelli]

I'm waiting. I really want him to start talking.

[KWP]

I can't shut either of mine up .... Love that X

[marcus]

Great one!! Beautiful tribute!!

[A. Fiorillo]

this is precious and perfect! Absolutely love it.

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Andrea. I like to write about my son. He's always on my mind.

[Matching Socks]

Tender and sweet fatherly love packed into this one. :)
Beautiful poem! Cute pic!

[mattavelli]

Thanks, Ana. It's too easy to write for him. I spent this evening editing a bunch of clips and photos of him together. I've got him walking in slow motion to the opening theme from terminator 2.

[Matching Socks]

Lol. That's awesome!

[Charlotte]

The thing about this poem is the content. I get it, the structure's nice but the content is the bomb. Well done, I hope your son would appreciate this as much as or more than I do. :)

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Charlotte. I'm glad you liked it. I hope he likes it too. It will take a few years for him to learn to read it. Haha

[von Froszt]

I enjoy the form of this poem. As someone who tends away from rhyme in most of my poetry, this inspires me to challenge myself and move out of my comfort zone. As for the subject matter, this one hits home. I have a seven year old daughter. When she was newborn, I loved watching her sleep and often wondered what she dreamed. The miracle of life is so profound and never so firmly exemplified as in witnessing that miracle in one's own progeny. Though I don't live with my daughter anymore, I love our visits together. As she grows, she changes so much from the fragile but peaceful angel she was as an infant, but still retains that innocence and beauty that I fell in love with the day she was born. Thanks for an excellent poem.

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading. Ya, I enjoy the different poetic forms. They can make a puzzle of the the writing and they are helping me rebuild my vocabulary. I recently returned from a six year stay in china, so I need a lot of practice.
Before I had my son, I avoided babies. They seemed easy to break and they rarely wanted my attention anyway.now, I hold them when they are handed to me. And I know why people hand off their babies. It's because carrying one is so tiring. Haha

[Roland Petrov]

An interesting style that reads very nicely indeed, and such a sweet poem! I've just found out about "my library" button, so I think I'll test it out with this poem. I'd like to have it in my library as an example of a style I shall try to emulate.

[mattavelli]

Check out Rascal's page. It's his form. He has more.

[Roland Petrov]

I did. Thanks.

[dan]

As a father I can relate. Just be ready for the young man to out-shine you in the looks department. My son eclipsed me when he was about 13. Oddly enough, this made me very proud. take care...dan

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Dan. Ya, I added the "damn handsome, honest guy" as a joke. Have fun!