For My Son

Sweet little boy, you're daddy's joy.
I've watched with so much pride;
from your first cries and opened eyes,
to now, learning your stride.

I watch you sleep, so very deep,
your head upon my chest;
and guess your dreams; it often seems,
they are the very best.

Your giggles make my hard heart shake.
That laugh has teared my eye.
I'm sure you'll be a bit like me;
damned handsome, honest guy.

And as you grow and off you go,
to walk your winding trail;
the things you'll learn, oh god, I yearn
to listen to that tale.

Author's Note

"Doubledown Style 1 (or) Eights 'n Sixes"
Original form created by
Richard W. Jenkins
© 1 Apr 1987

Any number of 4-line verses about anything:
Aligned left or centered.

Syllable count per verse:
8/6/8/6

Rhyme scheme:
xxxaxxxa
xxxxxb
xxxcxxxc
xxxxxb

xxxdxxxd
xxxxxe
xxxfxxxf
xxxxxe

Etc...

Here is a link to his profile:
http://www.writerscafe.org/RichardJ
Aka Rascal on WC.

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

Heart warming words for your son. Brimful with love. Really touching read and reminded me of how I feel about my year old grandson, the only baby now in the family. Well done mattavelli. Kudos on attempting such a complicated structure. Not easy to do.

Chris

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Christine! :)

[Chris Shaw]

You are welcome.

[barleygirl]

One of the best "daddy" poems I've ever read! Your observations are down-to-earth & true-to-life with a ton of sentimental feeling to carry your observations along. Excellent use of poetic form which also enhances your message & meaning. The last two lines are very impactful, leaving us with an expanding curiosity as to what might be ahead for you both! *smile* Fondly, Margie

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Barleygirl! :)
His was a fun form to try.

[Mercy Fae]

Everything about this poem feels so jovial. ^_^

Keep up the good work.

[mattavelli]

Thanks, Mercy! :)

[emipoemi]

Nice - Work! Love the way it flows! Well done!

[mattavelli]

Thank you, emi! :)

[Lorry]

"Your giggles make my hard heart shake" sums up this piece perfectly. Even amongst the chaos of life today, there are those that can still bring a tear to a glass eye, when we look at innocence and beauty we brought into the world, and hope for a better tomorrow for them all. Lovely piece my friend.

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Nemo! :)

[Valentine]

Very nice tribute to your son. Valentine

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Valentine! :)

[Papaya]

Cute one.
I know I read this one before.
Sweet pic. :)

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Ana! :)

[Roxie M]

It is beautifully written. I am touched by the love a father has for his son.

[Perkele.7885]

I like the poem not for any syllable count that you may have used. I could care less. I like it because of the warmth in your heart for your son. The thoughts, the feelings and the love that surrounds your poem as you put it together for publishing. Bravo, man.

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading. Ya, I enjoyed this form. Your writing inspired one of my poems, "sonnet for my favorite thing".

[Perkele.7885]

Well thank you! That is nice to know!

[Perkele.7885]

Hmmmm, If You say so! I can't see any echo of me there but, you are the writer here!

[mattavelli]

Ya, I wrote it.

[Geo Lawrence]

An examplary master piece. Make sure your son grows to read this poem...

[mattavelli]

I will. Thanks for reading.