For My Son

Sweet little boy, you're daddy's joy.
I've watched with so much pride;
from your first cries and opened eyes,
to now, learning your stride.

I watch you sleep, so very deep,
your head upon my chest;
and guess your dreams; it often seems,
they are the very best.

Your giggles make my hard heart shake.
That laugh has teared my eye.
I'm sure you'll be a bit like me;
damned handsome, honest guy.

And as you grow and off you go,
to walk your winding trail;
the things you'll learn, oh god, I yearn
to listen to that tale.

Author's Note

"Doubledown Style 1 (or) Eights 'n Sixes"
Original form created by
Richard W. Jenkins
© 1 Apr 1987

Any number of 4-line verses about anything:
Aligned left or centered.

Syllable count per verse:
8/6/8/6

Rhyme scheme:
xxxaxxxa
xxxxxb
xxxcxxxc
xxxxxb

xxxdxxxd
xxxxxe
xxxfxxxf
xxxxxe

Etc...

Here is a link to his profile:
http://www.writerscafe.org/RichardJ
Aka Rascal on WC.

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

Heart warming words for your son. Brimful with love. Really touching read and reminded me of how I feel about my year old grandson, the only baby now in the family. Well done mattavelli. Kudos on attempting such a complicated structure. Not easy to do.

Chris

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Christine! :)

[Chris Shaw]

You are welcome.

[sharonlee]

Such beautifully moving poem, and almost sing-song in its rhyming.... so very sweet Matt!

I feel the emotion in your poem, two sons and two daughters, all grown and walking their winding trails.... I am blessed that they share most of their experiences with me.

[Miss Sharon]

This is so touching and very beautifully written. Made me think of my little boy....many, many years ago! ~Sharon

[Cherrie]

Your Double down poem is beautiful, just like the boy you write of. Very delightful.

[mattavelli]

Thank you for reading, Cherrie! :)

[Summer Emswiler]

Very sweet! This poem makes me smile. I also quite like the rhyme scheme. Makes me want to play around with it.

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Summer, I like to write for my son. :)
If you try the rhyme, please let me know. Id like to read it.

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Rascal... your poetry is ❤️ heartwarming
in so many ways. When my son was born, I read that his wife some day would take up where I left off. But in reality we learn from each other always. gently, Pat

[mattavelli]

Hello, Patricia, thanks for reading! I am not Rascal.

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Matt... forgive me... I do not know how I
came up with that name. truly, Pat

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Love this babies grow old we age they grow up we wonder where the time went thanks so much for this beautiful poem

[mattavelli]

Thank you for reading, Julie! :)

[Chryiss]

"I'm sure you'll be a bit like me; / damned handsome, honest guy." I haven't yet seen a lovelier, more fitting use of damned or simply curse words than this. It made me chuckle with a light warmth inside. It's amazing how you created such a natural piece when bound by syllables of a certain poetic form, but regardless, I felt your love for your son.

[Eggplant]

I love the feeling behind your poem. You put emotion into it, and that is what makes a good writer. I really liked the story that your poem told, it filled me with a lot of emotion. There are a few things I do have to say. First, I notice some people are nagging on the syllable count. I, for one, don't think it is bad. It is perfectly fine. The thing I did notice was your rhyming. Maybe just try and get the rhyming even throughout your poem. Otherwise, I really enjoyed it! Have a wonderful day!

[mattavelli]

Hey, lily, thanks for reading. Reading other reviews can be confusing. Haha... There is nothing wrong with the structure of this poem. The count is fine. The rhyme is fine.

[Diane]

I find writing about my kiddo's easy. All the ideas are there.
This was sweet and that little dude is lucky to have you.

[mattavelli]

Thanks, Diane! :)
I really like him. Haha

[Diane]

lol I hope so. Hes darling