Mountain Babies

Read it. It's not as long as it looks....

Mountain babies coming down,
coming down, coming down;
mountain babies coming down
and now we have the beat.

There's a town up in the jagged hills,
where they keep a secret tale.

I heard it from a drunkard there,
while we shared a night in jail.

As I stepped into that shabby cell,
 he jumped up on his feet;

and stuck right out his sweaty hand
and said, it's nice to meet...

But, before I even had the chance 
to match his goofy grin;

he dropped back down and passed right out
from his night of raging sin.

So I had some time to kick my heals
in peace; call it an hour,

'til he let out a roaring burp
that woke his face all sour.

Then we got to talking,
swapping jokes and sharing riddle;

and he told me a story
granny'd sang to grandad's fiddle.



"Mountain Babies"

Now, Jesus wrote, in his last chapter,
about an ending with a rapture;
but in this place that god's forsaken,
we all know we won't be taken.

Instead we're waiting for that thunder
to roll into this town;

and tear this whole wide world asunder,
when they start coming down.

'Cause up there, hidden in the clouds,
they're  cooing up a storm.

My uncle said he saw the crowds,
that mountain baby swarm.

For now we're safe, or so they say;
all those babes can do is crawl.
But they will learn to walk one day
and that's it for us all.

'Cause when they come down from that peak,
they'll be charging like a train;

and they'll bowl over strong and weak;
we'll all be feeling pain.

There'll be no place for us to hide;
no walls will stop that flood.

Don't bother sailing with the tide;
you'll end trampled in the mud.

So when I see the dust arise,
I'll just lie down for my demise.
But if your mind's among the cleverest,
you might try atop Everest.

Author's Note

Please let me know what you think.

Reviews

[Matching Socks]

Very cool! It was very easy to read I barely noticed how long it was.
I like the story.

[mattavelli]

Hi, Ana. Thanks for reading it. :)

[Matching Socks]

My pleasure. I loved it!

[Woody]

I like this poem Matt. this is my type of poetry. very funny :)
something bothers me though. but I'm no specialist and may be completely wrong. you'll have to correct me.
I felt this poem was sort of off kilter. some lines were longer than others. I couldn't sing it!!
was that intentional?

[mattavelli]

Hi, Woody. Thanks for the input. Yes, for the most part, the lines have a pattern of long-short-long-short.....
Does the whole thing seem off or is it in sections?

[Woody]

I wish you'd ignore what I said. I'm really not the one to ask. I'm rather old fashioned and used to the ordinary, classic, straight forward poems. change something and I'm lost :)

[mattavelli]

Ok, woody. Thanks for reading. :)

[Roland Petrov]

All cultures have a supernatural coming in their lore, but this is one of the strangest. On the other hand, when I think of Jesus, Maitreya, and the 12th (or is it 13th) Imam, mountain babies just might be my preference. It certainly made for an entertaining poem. Well done, as usual, Matt.

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading and commenting, Roland. I had fun writing it.

[AaronFreitas]

A very good write... loaded with mystery which I like... good work!

[mattavelli]

Ya, you didn't read it. It's cheating to copy the other reviews. Haha

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Very mysterious, it's almost a bit of a horror tale. Very well done, Matt. :) Rudi

[mattavelli]

Oh no, haha. It's meant to be funny. Thanks for reading, Rudi. :)

[Willard Wells]

Strange and interesting story that I read twice and i am still not completely understanding it.The first part I got with no problem and it was rather funny. On the second half somewhere I got lost in the babies. I am sure it is a metaphor, which is outside my grasp today. Sorry. Thanks for sharing.

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Willard. The second part is a song about an apocalypse of stampeding babies.

[Willard Wells]

OK. Hahaha

[sereenaoutloud]

OMG i was totally rapping (no it didnt sound good) lol but you just can't help it with this write. From the get go you feel the beat and the rhyming is flawless. I loved it!

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Sareena. I've been listening to a lot of bluegrass music this past six months, so I decided to write a song. Since I've never worked in a mine and don't spend much time down by he river, I went with the death by babies theme; writing about what plagues me. Haha

[sereenaoutloud]

LOL.....because death by a swarm of babies plagues you ?? OR is it really death by all the Mini you's like the one in the Picture ?? heheheh
Great write regardless of the inspiration lol :)

[mattavelli]

My son is fourteen months now. His walking is getting a lot better, but he used to just stand up and lean forward, the "momentum and fast feet method"; which resulted in a lot of face-planting. He's my plaguing inspiration. Haha

[sereenaoutloud]

aaawww i love that age so adorable... mine are 5 & 8 but i remember that stage well. So much fun!!

[mattavelli]

Have you written about them? I wrote two poems about mine. They wrote themselves, so easy.

[sereenaoutloud]

yes i have a couple of times!! I could talk about then forever , they are just awesome lol :)