Mountain Babies

Mountain Babies

A Poem by mattavelli
"

Read it. It's not as long as it looks....

"


Mountain babies coming down,
coming down, coming down;
mountain babies coming down
and now we have the beat.

There's a town up in the jagged hills,
where they keep a secret tale.

I heard it from a drunkard there,
while we shared a night in jail.

As I stepped into that shabby cell,
 he jumped up on his feet;

and stuck right out his sweaty hand
and said, it's nice to meet...

But, before I even had the chance 
to match his goofy grin;

he dropped back down and passed right out
from his night of raging sin.

So I had some time to kick my heals
in peace; call it an hour,

'til he let out a roaring burp
that woke his face all sour.

Then we got to talking,
swapping jokes and sharing riddle;

and he told me a story
granny'd sang to grandad's fiddle.



"Mountain Babies"

Now, Jesus wrote, in his last chapter,
about an ending with a rapture;
but in this place that god's forsaken,
we all know we won't be taken.

Instead we're waiting for that thunder
to roll into this town;

and tear this whole wide world asunder,
when they start coming down.

'Cause up there, hidden in the clouds,
they're  cooing up a storm.

My uncle said he saw the crowds,
that mountain baby swarm.

For now we're safe, or so they say;
all those babes can do is crawl.
But they will learn to walk one day
and that's it for us all.

'Cause when they come down from that peak,
they'll be charging like a train;

and they'll bowl over strong and weak;
we'll all be feeling pain.

There'll be no place for us to hide;
no walls will stop that flood.

Don't bother sailing with the tide;
you'll end trampled in the mud.

So when I see the dust arise,
I'll just lie down for my demise.
But if your mind's among the cleverest,
you might try atop Everest.









© 2015 mattavelli


Author's Note

mattavelli
Please let me know what you think.

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Reviews

Firstly, apologies for missing this one, it was jammed between favourites in my reading list,
Secondly, that opening is brilliant. Not many can put a tune in your head without hearing it, but you did so brilliantly. So brilliantly in fact that it is impossible to read a second time without falling in to that rhythm again. It may have been just my thinking, but I definitely heard a banjo playing along to this.
I love the sight you paint in my mind of the rapture, surely the end of days couldn't be made more terrifying, could it? Yes, as it happens. The chaos ensuing, panic in the streets, as well as the hearts and minds of all, comes juddering to a halt by the sight of our demise, brought to us by the cherub like form of baebes. Surely a fitting end to the confusion that is and was life. Love this.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Lorry

8 Years Ago

Ha, I just assumed I had already read it. I am determined to get through my reading list backlog tod.. read more
mattavelli

8 Years Ago

I had 300 read requests. I deleted them. It was a pain on my iPad. For each, I had to click X twice,.. read more
Lorry

8 Years Ago

I do enjoy knowing there are always things waiting for me to read each day, but 300? I should just s.. read more
The first stanza is truly brilliant & original . . . setting us up for a rhythmic read. The part about being in jail with the drunkard is also brilliant & original (but I already said that). I'm picturing the scene & it rings true about a drunken experience, as well as being entertaining. I have to admit, I did not feel the ease of transition between the jail part & granny's ditty. I like both, but I'm just not feeling the connection as much. It may be becuz I don't understand what "Mountain Babies" stands for (I'm no good at metaphors). Regardless of my sketchy understanding of granny's ditty, it comes across with nice rhythm & well-styled lyrical storytelling.

Posted 8 Years Ago


mattavelli

8 Years Ago

Thanks for reading, Barleygirl! :)
This has two parts. First, the speaker tells the story of .. read more
barleygirl

8 Years Ago

I can see exactly the forward scramble you describe (about your son) in your reply. Very well explai.. read more
Very interesting tale. It has a unique rhyme scheme that works quite well with the content. I do quite like the tie-in with the haggard prisoner and the "Mountain babies".

Posted 8 Years Ago


mattavelli

8 Years Ago

Thank you for reading and the feedback, Clifford. :)
Nice work, now I see what you meant by phrasing.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Scary good. I have read it twice so far. What a great voice in this. What wonderful wit.

Posted 8 Years Ago


mattavelli

8 Years Ago

Thank you, Amy! :)
i could hear a stand-up bass, the jug, fiddle and banjo chiming along to this, Matt... this could easily be turned into a bluregrass song and the first four lines would make an awesome chorus...this is creative and entertaining, reminding me of the many songs written in my province...would love to put music to this!!

Posted 9 Years Ago


mattavelli

9 Years Ago

Thanks, FT. I'd been listening to a lot of bluegrass when I wrote this one. Feel free to play with i.. read more
I like the flow. I've noticed lots of people have a little issue with rhyme schemes but not this piece :) well written, bravo!

Posted 9 Years Ago


mattavelli

9 Years Ago

Thank you, Kayla.
Excellent!
This is your best possibly!

Posted 9 Years Ago


mattavelli

9 Years Ago

Thanks, I'll check it out. :)
Cherry Pepperweb

9 Years Ago

No problem.
mattavelli

9 Years Ago

And I woke up the baby. Haha... Sounds fun.
very fine penning with just the right touch of humor...thank you for the excellent image wrapped in laughter...

Posted 9 Years Ago


mattavelli

9 Years Ago

Thank you for reading. :)
I liked this a lot. Good rhythm and an interesting story.

Posted 9 Years Ago


mattavelli

9 Years Ago

I'm glad you liked it. It was fun to write.

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Added on June 1, 2015
Last Updated on June 1, 2015

Author

mattavelli
mattavelli

FL



About
LIFE IS A PARTY. DON'T BE A PINATA. ------------------- Hello, Thanks for visiting my page. I'm Matt. I enjoy reading and writing poetry. If you have a poem that you'd like me to read, please let.. more..

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