Unmasking the Insanity *HOW IT ALL BEGAN*

THIS IS THE BEGINNING.

  

CHAPTER 1

 

THE TALL MAN

 

   Ray Pendleton lives for nothing more than to punish those who sin.

 

   The day had started overcast, the sky awash with various shades of grey, but now it was turning jet-black, just like that of Satan’s soul. The thunder rumbled across the land and the streaky lightning emblazoned the sky.

   Ray drove down the high street in his old, grey van, kitted out and customised for his needs. The back windows were tinted and sealed shut, he’d soundproofed the inside, making it a cozy playroom to transport his victims from one place to the next. Chains and shackles were fixed to the floor and along the wall were numerous hammers, drills, and saws. The van’s side sliding doors made it easy to capture and contain.

   Ray parked his van opposite the Cosmo Bar and sat patiently, lying in wait for the group of friends to arrive that he nicknamed ‘The Sinful Six.’

   On this night, he wasn’t the gatekeeper of the nightclub door, nor was he there to socialise or drink; something far more sinister brewed in the dark corners of his twisted mind. He watched and observed the partygoers coming and going with a look of disgust and contempt.

   Filthy animals, he thought to himself, as they all played out lurid and melodramatic acts of drunk and disorderly behaviour.

   The blackened clouds struggled to withstand the burden of the weight they’d been holding back for a while. But, with another clap of thunder, the clouds suddenly gave way to an instant downpour of thick, heavy rain.

   An immediate covering of water appeared on the street, sending people scurrying off in all different directions as the rain poured down with an almighty roar.

   Ray gazed dully at the dashboard clock; it wasn’t nine yet, but he knew his 'Sinful Six' would arrive soon.

   The rain whipped down like crystal nails but, through the fierce sheets of rain, the Sinful Six had appeared. One by one, they stepped out from the black cab which had brought them into town. Ray watched on as they all made a dash for shelter under the roof of the Cosmo Bar. And, just like that, a curtain of black fell over his graveyard eyes. 

   He’d been a danger in their shadows for several months, an enigmatic stranger some might say, a man who didn’t exist. He looked on at the Sinful Six like that of a butcher, sizing them up like pieces of meat. With a shallow smile from cheek to cheek, his mask was as cold as a funeral.

   The group consisted of a mixture of personalities.  Some had stories to tell while the rest were more conservative and played the quiet and shy kind. But, the one thing they all had in common, the one thing they never revealed to anybody, was the darker side of their persona, shrouding them in a grave blanket of secrecy and sin. Each individual portrayed themselves as a Doctor Jekyll to the outside world but, behind closed doors, their characteristics couldn’t be more different, being more comparable to that of Mr Hyde.  

    There was Zara, a sexually promiscuous woman, who thought nothing about flaunting her body online to like-minded guys while her boyfriend Ben would secretly wager money on a roll of a dice and chanced his arm at the turn of a card. Johnny was the quiet one, an introvert some might say, but he held late-night sexting sessions with Zara, unbeknown to Ben, who sat downstairs, gambling all his money away. Craig was the troublemaker of the group, who was always pulling pranks on his friends. His best friend was Casey, who lived with Drake. This couple was a little older than the rest. They seemed to have it all, but all that glittered was not gold.

   Ray had looked distastefully at the individuals for a while now, knowing that when they laid their heads down at night, each and every one of them would wrap and consume themselves in a blanket of sin, all choosing to bed the devil, Beelzebub and his dastardly ways. His hatred for these people was palpable. But he had plans, plans to deliver terror, turmoil, and anarchy to the doorsteps of each and every one of the Sinful Six’s tumultuous lives.

    Life had dealt Ray some tough blows. His mother was a w***e and his father a gambling man. He’d suffered years of abuse at their hands; every day was punishment day. Both parents had canes " each more than a yard long and half an inch thick. One, two, three " in quick succession, the whooshing sound of the cane coming through the air and then, the thud. Four, five, six. The blows were thick and fast. With each blow, the skin softened and the pain grew. One time, he’d been hit so hard that the bamboo cane had broken, snapped completely in half.  

   But those days had gone, that was Ray’s adolescence life. Now, he was a strong, intense individual, obsessed with philosophies of vengeance and retribution. He lived a single life now, deep in the woods, preferring to stay away from prying eyes and all people who lied.  

   Ray fired up the van and got ready to leave, but not before tapping at his phone and hitting send. Then, lifting one hand, he slipped his fingers under the seatbelt strap and fastened himself in. With a subtle look of amusement, Ray pushed down on the accelerator and drove away.  

   The recipients of Ray’s message were the Sinful Six and the message was sent under the identity of an unknown number. The message which they had all received read:

Soon your secrets will be out. They are not safe with me. The Tall Man is real and he’s coming out to play. 

Author's Note

ENJOY

Reviews

[BBP]

Marky Mark....... You really have such a gift. Like always, your descriptions are so deep and defining, that is where you shine. You can literally feel the rain and see the nightclub entrance.

You can also feel the hatred and disgust Ray has for the Sinful Six. It's almost tangible.

The rain whipped down like crystal nail... That line is ace. Just another example of how versatile you are with descriptions.

This chapter is laid out perfectly to set the scene, even though they aren't that bad of people in their sins, this chapter makes you believe they are the devil's playmates! lol

I love Ray and can't wait to be able to read the entire book...one day I will be buying it off the shelves!!!!!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

This is interesting. Finally we know why Ray is so twisted to act like this.
I loved the term you used 'Satan's soul' it casts a wonderful imagery and just about perfect..
'Sinful Six' is a good enough nickname too. More like a gang.
Though I must say, I find only Zara and Ben to be the sinners here. What's wrong and sinful in playing pranks on friends? Which is what Craig does... Apparently Ray thinks humans should be perfect haha
I found one expression of Ray odd. When he gazes at the clock, you say 'dully'.. Why? Shouldn't he be more excited? Unless he's waiting for time to pass quickly then idk.. Just stating my views...

I loved it on the whole. Perfect start for an anticipating read.
Good as always by you, Mark 👍😊

[Rebecca Church]

Ohohohohho~!!! This was a grand thing to wake up to. We rarely get a story from the baddies point of view and honestly, you're such a grand writer I can't wait to see what happens!

We often get main baddies who do what they do because they think it's the right thing to do, that no one else is punishing these people, so he should pick up the slack. It's also rare that you see them done well. But you I think have hit the nail on the head. I can't wait to see the rest, Mark.

[Tina H.W.]

OH MY GOD, MARK..........That was amazing!!! The end (or should I say the beginning....) my blood has heated and my heart is pumping a tattoo in my chest!
No kidding, no false flattery....you are without a doubt the best writer on here.

I love the story behind Ray who suffered at the hands of the 'Sinful Six' This is a clever with such a EXCELLENT twist!

I totally LOVE those last two line....sent shivers, believe me. Unmasking The Insanity will stay will me for such a long time.

Mark you are an incredible writer. Thank you so much for sharing! Totally totally amazing!
Really well done.

Your BIGGEST fan,

Tina :)

[D.M. Knight]

This is a perfect beginning for your story! I like that it is from Ray's perspective. This really lays the groundwork for what is to come, and builds his character. In this chapter the reader really gets a sense of how truly twisted Ray is. It is great!

Ray Pendleton lives for nothing more than to punish those who sin. - ABSOLUTELY THE PERFECT OPENING SENTENCE!! This is an ultimate hook for readers! It leaves the reader wanting to know more... Who is Ray? How does he punish? Who does he punish? And why does he punish? Unanswered questions are ultimately the reason that readers are unable to put a book down.

Also, I believe that we as human beings have a grim fascination with serial killers (some just aren't willing to admit it). We struggle to understand the mind of a psychopath and how they can be capable of such depravity. You have captured this and put it in a bottle, and you did it so well!!

making it a cozy playroom to transport his victims - This really gives the readers a horrifying glimpse inside Ray's life. Very terrifying! Also, the fact that the word "cozy" is used here to describe his van of horrors is brilliant! It truly shows how far removed his thought processes are from those of a normal individual. Nice!

group of friends to arrive that he nicknamed ‘The Sinful Six.’ - Love the nickname!! This shows that Ray has given this A LOT OF THOUGHT. He has had enough time planning to even come up with a nickname for them. Scary!

something far more sinister brewed in the dark corners of his twisted mind. - Love the use of the words "sinister", "dark corners" and "twisted"!! Paints a vivid picture of the type of person Ray is.


Filthy animals, he thought to himself, as they all played out lurid and melodramatic acts - LOVE THIS! This shows that Ray does not really see the "Sinful Six" as human beings. This is one of the hallmarks of a true psychopath. They completely lack empathy.

An immediate covering of water appeared on the street, sending people scurrying off in all different directions as the rain poured down with an almighty roar. - I love this scene. I can totally see this in my head. People running as if they would melt in the rain. And how loud rain can be when it comes down that hard. Nice description!!


He’d been a danger in their shadows for several months, an enigmatic stranger some might say, a man who didn’t exist. - This is great! It is a great way to say that he has been stalking them, because it sounds far more terrifying than just saying he has been stalking them. I especially love "danger in their shadows"

shrouding them in a grave blanket of secrecy and sin. - NICE!


They seemed to have it all, but all that glittered was not gold. - I know I have heard this line before, but here it works perfectly!!

every one of them would wrap and consume themselves in a blanket of sin, all choosing to bed the devil, Beelzebub and his dastardly ways. - LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS!! I really like that you have used the name "Beelzelbub" here. I have heard this reference/name for the Devil before and I really like it. It evokes a more ancient evil than the word Devil. Nice job!

One, two, three – in quick succession, the whooshing sound of the cane coming through the air and then, the thud. Four, five, six. - This is amazing! This is such a great way of describing that Ray was abused than just coming out and saying it. It leaves a vivid picture of the abuse Ray suffered at the hands of his parents. The counting is perfect!! Not only does it show that the abuse was terrible and didn't seem to end for Ray, but it also seems reminiscent of a nursery rhyme... I do hope you do something with this in the story later.

Soon your secrets will be out. They are not safe with me. The Tall Man is real and he’s coming out to play. - Perfect ending to a perfect chapter!

As usual, Very Well Done!!! You have amazing talent.

[Joey Nizz]

Oh man, this is intense reading, I thank you my friend for writing this chapter.

[CAPOLAVORO]

Oh deary. I love this one Mark. It sets out as the starting point. Ray is really a great character who would become the stirrer in the story. I would love to read more of this. This is an all out suspense. A page turner if it were to be a book. ;)