A Letter of Good Bye Love

The note was left on the dining room table, resting quite casually propped up by a vase with a single rose. I always told her but she never listened, I hated roses. I knew the moment I walked through the front door. The lights were not lite, it was cold and the silence felt heavy in the air. I placed my satchel on the stairs as I walked slowly past and into the kitchen. I looked around the room taking in the little details, the benches were clean, spotless. The oven was quite and our circular dining table had a small, square envelope, folded and propped up, waiting for my attention. I dragged my feet, dreaming what I knew it was. My hand reached out for it, shaking with fear, my fingers touched the dark brown edges, and hesitated away. I gripped every ounce of courage I thought I had and grabbed the envelope. I opened it and slid out a note, handwritten in neat cursive writing, and as I read it, the tears flowed freely down my face.

Dear Adam

I don’t know how to start, so I’ll go from the beginning. Do you remember how we met? We were fourteen years old, and back then you were the most amazing boy I’d ever met. Our teacher had us sit next to each other in english. My parents were going through the terrible divorce and you were the one who made everything seem just a little bit better. You made me laugh, when I cried in class and Angela Mcdarren started to make fun of me you told her to shut up, and you held me as I cried through lunch. I fell in love with you then, while my friends were falling for boys that would break their hearts, I feel for you, the one I knew would never break mine. And that’s why doing this is soo hard Adam, I’m going to break your heart. We got married when we were nineteen, do you remember? My Dad told me I was insane, but we did it anyway, and we lasted for so many wonderful years. But honestly I wanted us to last forever. WHat happened Adam? was it the fact I couldn’t get pregnant? or that my job kept demanding more of me than you were willing to let go of? I don’t know Adam but somewhere down our path, we lost our love for each other. I don’t think we can fix this Adam, you come home late, leave early, I don’t know how to talk to you anymore. Are you angry? Hurt? I don’t know, and I’ve tried so hard to understand you, but you won’t let me in. So I’m going to leave, I’m so sorry, but it's so hard Adam, lying next to you, but not knowing you, it’s tearing me in half. So I’m leaving, please, just don’t try to find me yet, I need to figure this out. Do you hate me? I don’t blame you if you do, I hate me, I hate me for doing this, but I don’t know what else to do. I’m sorry.

Lisa

My heart broke. Reading her letter my heart broke, because this was my fault, this was what I had done to the woman I had loved since before I knew what love was. And for what? A few minutes to make myself feel better about hurting her cause inside, I’m a wreck. I’m broken, I’m garbage. She didn’t deserve any of it, but I couldn’t stop myself. Yes I was upset we couldn’t have a baby, yes her modeling job was more than I could bear, asking her to go nude in more shots than with her clothes on. But over all that shouldn’t have cause me what I had. This love we had that no one else in the world could know. Oh God what had I done? I destroyed my marriage, hurt her to no end. here. alone. in this home. forever. I needed to find her. I needed to tell her I loved her.