Another Minor Setback

 

Faltered and felled, left behind

Each time the loss hurts more

Every time I think I’m back on my feet

Someone or something comes along to set me back down

Back down upon my knees once again

Every choice seems to end up the wrong one

Even after I’m sure that I got it right this time

I can’t seem to escape from this labyrinth

I can’t ever seem to get away from it all

 

It pounds like a drum beat inside of me

A resonation that knocks me down

The only thing left to do is to fight it

Try and make something of this asperity

Since forever [it seems] I have had to get through this

Guess I’ll have to endure a little longer

One day I’ll get out of this madness

One day I’ll finally be content with all of my life

 

Until then I’ll just have to get used to it

It was just another slip along the road

And I know that I am stronger than them

They’ll just have to put up with me

Reviews

[Carrissa Cone]

Great writing... just, beautiful BEAUTIFUL


BEAUTIFUL!

[James Jason Dye]

Good write, I've been there man. Good way to look at it.

[Dice Rosenthal]

One day I�ll get out of this madness
One day I�ll finally be content with all of my life

I like the way you emphasie All, letting us know with as few words possible your disatifaction. Is this a song? It sounds very lyrical.

[Sarah]

i like this...expecially the lines "Back down upon my knees once again
Every choice seems to end up the wrong one
Even after I�m sure that I got it right this time"

[Annelise]

This is really good. Actually it sounds like a song to me, songs without refrains have always been my favorite. "I can't seem to escape from this labyrinth, I can't ever seem to get away from it all." Lovely line, resoundingly true. There are some punctuation problems, not that there wrong, isf you worked on them it might flow better.

[Conversing Empty Words]

I'm going to get really cocky and believe that "my" bracket style is wearing on you.

I love the lines, "Every choice seems to end up the wrong one//Even after I'm sure that I got it right this time"

I think you could do a little more with punctuation to break apart your thoughts, and lose a bit of the emphasis on every line by only capitalizing the lines that you emphasize most (ie: bolded lines).