Shine

Shine

A Poem by Mary

So I just sat there.

 Looking at the perfectly painted sky change

 from reds and oranges

 to indigos, and blacks.

 

 I watched the stars come out from their hiding spots to shine.

I think people are like that too.

 Coming out of hiding,

 and shining brighter than they or anyone else thought they could.

 

MC

 

 

© 2013 Mary


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Reviews

The brevity of your piece suits the revelation of this beautiful moment perfectly. I think the prose format does'nt do it much good though. Structured as a poem, each line would have a more lasting impact.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mary

11 Years Ago

I tried out the poem format, and I love it thank you.
You have some good description here, but this is brief in the extreme. I feel like you ought to expand this more and turn it into an actual story. As it stands, it's good writing, but there's really no depth to it.

Posted 11 Years Ago



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Stats

148 Views
2 Reviews
Added on March 31, 2013
Last Updated on March 31, 2013
Tags: sky, sunset, people, stars

Author

Mary
Mary

venice, FL



About
Hi, I'm Mary. I'm a 15 year old girl, a feminist, and a cat lover. I enjoy writing, blogging and photography. I like sharing tea with my lovely Bradley. more..

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