Chapter Fifty-Two

Chapter 52

The next two weeks I managed to avoid Cole as Kalila checked every corner and switched her classes so that we had classes together. She didn’t leave me alone for a second and that made it where it was easy for me to get my wish. Anytime Jonathon called asking to see me I’d explain that Kalila still wouldn’t let me leave her side and sometimes he’d be nice about it and sometimes I was just glad I wasn’t there to be hit and deal with his anger.

“Kali I’m going out tonight.” I told her after training.

“Why?” she asked.

“I just want to go out for a while. I’ll go hunting and stuff. I need some alone time.” I shrugged.

“You know you can let me know how bad this is still hurting you.”

“I’m fine, Kali.” I whispered. That was a lie though. I might be going to see my secret boyfriend but Cole breaking my heart still hurt me more than any pain I’d ever felt in my life. I wondered every day how long it would be until Cole told everybody I was secretly seeing Jonathon and that he was already hurting me again. I shook my head though and just walked away from Kalila. When I was away from her and out of the school Cole showed up.

“If you go see him I’m going to go tell the family. I thought you’d given up on him when you hadn’t gone the past two weeks.”

“Stay out of my life, Cole. You aren’t part of it anymore.” I whispered.

“No matter how much you don’t want me in your life, Lily-be, we both know we are going to get over this fight and makeup.”

“No we aren’t.” I shook my head, “We are over. I’m over you. I’ve moved on and you don’t get to pick my boyfriends so just move out of my way.”

“So if I don’t get to pick them and you aren’t ashamed of him… why are you keeping him a secret?”

“You know very well why.” I snapped and then ran away from him knowing he wouldn’t follow me. He would head for the house to tell my secret. I walked into Jonathon’s hotel room quietly hoping to surprise him and make him happy. “Hi.” I smiled kissing his neck when I wrapped my arms around him.

“Lily-Bear!” He jumped but there was a smile on his face, he liked the way this was going.

“Surprise.” I whispered as he pushed me on the bed and kissed me there was nothing but lust held in his eyes and I saw that now that I’d seen Cole again and those memories were brought to the surface. “No.” I shook my head pushing him away.

“It’s been your nine months.” He growled forcing himself on me still.

“Please don’t Jonathon.” I begged.

“If you’d just let us do this Lily Cole would get out of your mind.” He said softly but his hands weren’t soft as he held me down and his temper led the way. I realized he didn’t love me at all and if I wasn’t willing to give him everything he wanted then his anger was coming and he’d forcefully take it. The problem was I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be able to willingly give him it and I knew for sure I didn’t have the strength to leave this relationship again. I realized this was the one fight I had never been meant to win. It was the fight I’d die trying to mold myself into a good enough fighter to win.

“I’m going home.” I whispered when he finally got out of bed the next morning.

“No come take a shower with me.” He ordered and I held in the tears when he picked me up and then pretty much threw me in the shower. The whole night had been full of pain as he repeatedly forced me to give him whatever he wanted and now the morning was going to continue like that too. He helped me dry off gently afterwards though and when I looked into his eyes they were kind. “I’m sorry I lost my temper, Lily-bear.” He whispered kissing my neck.

“I’m sorry too.” I sighed and he started to kiss my lips before pulling me to the ground. “I’ve got to get to school, Jonathon. Cole told my family last night about us so I have to go home and change and explain and everything.” I whispered not wanting to bring back bad Jonathon.

“I’ll come with you then.” He promised kissing me again and I realized he’d had enough last night to stay kind today.

“Thank you.” I smiled at him once again almost sure that I could survive like this. I had my human life after all.

“Let’s go I got you some clothes the other day. They are in the closet.” He nodded telling me we were about to reach the part where I was going to be spending weeks here with him when we fought letting him do whatever he wanted to me since it was my fault that we fought. I nodded and went into the closet but he followed me and cornered me.

“What?” I whispered but I looked into his eyes and knew exactly what. “I thought we were going to go to Piper’s so that we could deal with everybody?” I asked nervously not wanting to start this.

“I just need a few minutes. They can wait.”

“I have school too.”

“I’m pretty sure they’ll let school wait to hear the explanation.”

“Please let’s just get dressed and go home.” I begged.

“No.” he growled and forced me yet again to let him have his way. I realized as I got dressed that today was going to be one of his extremely moody days and I’d be walking on eggshells all day around him.

“You don’t have to come in.” I whispered when he pulled up at the house and I saw Cole’s car.

“Relax Lily-bear; your ex-boyfriend isn’t going to bother me.” Jonathon promised me kissing me softly and I realized he’d calmed down again.

“I wasn’t as worried about him. I don’t care what he says.” I shrugged.

“Who are you worried about?”

“Kali.”

“Don’t worry about her as long as you are happy she’ll be happy.” That was why I was worried she’d see through the act he didn’t. She’d see that I only used him to try and get back to a time when Cole didn’t exist in my life and couldn’t hurt me. That pain was worse than any that being with Jonathon caused. We walked in and Cole nodded knowing that- even though our wall was up- I’d known where he’d went last night.

“Wow you finally decided to come home?” Leo asked harshly and I realized the whole family now knew my history and I glared at Cole and Kalila.

“You don’t look like you hunted either?” Kalila asked worriedly and I knew she’d seen through my act and was trying to hide it from Cole. She refused to put a spell on herself. I quickly murmured the spell as I hugged her and even though she heard it she couldn’t change a thing she was now completely blocked to Cole. Cole glared at me when I pulled away realizing she knew something I was working super hard to keep from him and the family.

“Explain.” Dad ordered walking in. I looked away from him and Mom it was something totally different to just know that they’d known what had happened and be standing in front of them as I made the decision again.

“I love Jonathon.” I whispered and Kalila left the room. I knew she was fighting with herself about telling them the truth about what I’d decided but that I’d be in trouble as soon as we were alone.

“I need to talk to Lily!” she yelled coming in before anybody could even say anything. I just shook my head at everybody and started out.

“Get back here now!” Jonathon ordered.

“I’ll be right back. Kali just wants to talk.” I whispered wishing he would’ve been able to hold his temper in at least in front of Mom and Dad. Then I’d have been able to lie and say he was better.

“No you don’t talk to her anymore.” He snapped and pointed beside him. Everybody waited to see if it’d be the straw for me but Kalila left knowing with as much pain as I was in over Cole I’d just wait and see her behind Jonathon’s back. I moved back over to Jonathon and put my hand on his arm.

“I’m sorry.” I begged. “I just wanted to explain to her how important you were to me.”

“I know. You just proved how important I was to everybody though.” He smiled pulling my face up to his and kissing me too much for in front of the family I pulled away and his eyes flashed angry again.

“We’re in front of my parents.” I whispered putting my head on his shoulder.

“Then let’s go get you ready for school.” He nodded and I realized he didn’t plan on leaving me alone at all. I wouldn’t be able to talk to Kalila ever again at least not out of school until somehow I managed to get the strength to get out of this relationship. “I’m going to school with you starting today.” Jonathon told me in my room watching intently as I changed into my uniform and then instead of worrying about fussing over my hair for the first time since Cole and I had broken up I let magic fix it.

“Are you?” I asked trying to sound indifferent but I couldn’t help but sound disappointed.

“You’re disappointed.” He accused.

“No I’m not. It’s just I spend most of my day training and I wouldn’t want you to think I’m ignoring you when I skip lunch and everything.” I whispered quickly lying. I had been planning on making lunch every day now so that I could be with Kalila.

“I’ll just go supervise your training at lunch.” He nodded and I tensed realizing he was going to school to make sure that I followed every rule he set for me. “You won’t be talking to men anymore.” He told me and I nodded silently. “Answer me when I talk to you, Lily.” He ordered and I realized it was only getting worse. He’d realized when I’d chosen to stay with him instead of going with Kalila that I needed him and now he could do anything so he would do whatever he wanted.

“Yes.” I nodded moving towards the door.

“We aren’t done talking sit down.” He ordered.

“We’re going to be late for school.” I whispered and he shot up in a rage hitting me hard enough to break my rib. I yelled out in pain and I heard people moving towards the room knowing Jonathon had once again messed up.

“What’d he break?” Cole asked.

“R…” I started but Jonathon’s look shut me up, “He’s not a…” I just trailed off though and moved to sit on the bed waiting for my rib to heal Cole stayed waiting for me to talk and then left realizing I’d decided to shun him again for some reason. He left but nobody came in and I figured they thought Cole had taken care of everything.

“Now you’re actually training everyday none of this talking that you do.”

“Does that mean I’m not allowed to ask him questions?” I asked carefully not sure if he’d just call me a stupid girl and move on.

“Of course not my silly Lily.” He smiled and I smiled glad he was back to good Jonathon. I carefully moved closer to him but when he saw me moving he reached for me and pulled me into his lap. “I’m just trying to make sure you don’t have to deal with rumors Lily-bear.” He whispered, “I don’t want to hurt you and with your sister I know she’s just going to try and convince you to leave me again.”

“She wouldn’t be able to.” I assured him.

“Still it would hurt you to fight with your sister so will you please just stay with me?” he asked but I knew I had no choice if I said no bad Jonathon would come back.

“Of course,” I promised putting my hand on his cheek. “We have to get to school now though.” I whispered when he started to kiss me and he laughed.

“Always playing hard to get,” He shook his head and I smiled glad he’d found it appealing that I’d turned him down this time. Maybe that was the key not pushing away or pulling away quickly but doing it slowly giving him time to get his bearings.

“It’s no fun if I don’t.” I smiled offering my hand so I could keep up the act that our relationship was exactly like Cole’s and mine had been in front of the family. I couldn’t remember a time when Cole and I had been together that we hadn’t been touching unless we were fighting or forcefully away from each other. He didn’t take my hand though at the offer of being able to hold me in front of people he pulled me to him holding me tightly to his side and I felt like he was telling the world I was his property.

“Let’s go.” Leo nodded worriedly looking pointedly at me.

“I just fell.” I shrugged.

“And broke your rib?” Dad asked and I glared at Cole realizing that in the intense pain the wall that I kept up so well every other time had slipped and he’d seen what had happened and had relayed it to everybody along with my new rule. Jonathon’s arm tightened sharply though and I felt a bone break I flinched with the pain but held in the scream as I looked up at him with the tears streaming through unable to hold those in.

“Act right.” He snarled.

“I didn’t talk to him.” I managed through the pain and he tightened his arm again breaking another rib this time making me collapse in the pain and it became too much for everybody as they realized I wasn’t going to stand up for myself. Kalila came down then though with fiery eyes when she saw me on the ground with tears falling.

“Why didn’t anybody stop him?!?!” she screamed and all the sudden she was levitating. I realized she’d had to fight just as much as me. Every time Jonathon had hurt me she’d grown to more of a fighter too because she was connected to me in a way even Booth wouldn’t understand as much as he’d been abused. She was my twin and that was something nobody could change even Jonathon after four months of dating.

“Relax I’m fine.” I said jumping back up when the ribs had healed completely, “I’m sorry, Jonathon. Can we please just go to school? I promise I won’t look at another guy.” I begged even though everybody was snarling and glaring except Kalila she was crying on the couch into Ben realizing just how bad my pain still was.

“Of course we can.” He said putting his arm back around me only now I was tense knowing the reason for the arm like that.

The next couple weeks were horrible Jonathon got progressively worse until only bad Jonathon was around. I trained harder though and bad Jonathon got bored watching my training and would leave me alone so I had that time alone. I didn’t talk to Booth though because he just wanted me training thinking that if I trained hard enough I’d build enough strength to get out of this relationship again. I wanted that though I also wanted enough strength to get out of the pull towards Cole I still felt. It hurt. He just hurt me and I didn’t want to be with him.

“Booth?” I whispered one day when I walked in. Whenever I talked to him it was a whisper I was afraid Jonathon would hear and come in.

“What’s wrong?” He asked worriedly seeing me still holding onto my side where my rib was healing from where Jonathon had broken it.

“Will I ever be strong enough to get out of this relationship again?” I whispered, “I want to finally beat this stupid thing. I want to beat him once and for all and I know I have to do it by myself.”

“Your right I still haven’t won my battle I fight it every night. So the truth I have no idea whether you will ever truly win the fight. You will get strong enough to get out of the relationship again though. This isn’t good for you, Lily.”

“It isn’t even doing what it was supposed to.” I whispered even quieter.

“What did you expect it to do?”

“Erase Cole.” I felt a tear fall and then I couldn’t help it as all the others finally escaped and he just held me.

“This is what’s been holding you back.” He nodded, “I guessed as much.”

“Everybody guessed as much.” I snarled as the tears ended.

“Are you ready to fight?” he asked.

“Yes I have to get out of this. I don’t know how much more I can take.”

“I’m surprised your family hasn’t killed him.”

“I won’t let them. He’s my fight.” Booth nodded understanding my theory and then we fought the longest hardest fight yet but when it was over I wasn’t sure it really was.

“I won…” I whispered and then, “I won!!!!!!!!!” I screamed and Cole shimmered in. “Cole I won!” I exclaimed hugging him tight having wanted him to be the first person to know so I’d let the wall down. As I hugged him though our imprint pulled on us.

“Congratulations Lily-be…” he whispered confused.

“I wanted you to know.” I whispered as my lips moved closer to his automatically the imprint leading us completely. Then our lips touched and it was like the first imprint kiss all over again as he pulled me closer to him but I pulled away shaking my head. “We can’t.” I shook my head. I was still too hurt to be doing this. I turned away and walked out of the room as the end of the day arrived. I met Jonathon right out of the room feeling Cole put the wall up this time as I realized I’d left it down letting him know exactly the reason I’d rejected him again. He’d hurt me too much. I was going to protect my heart from him. If I was with Jonathon it didn’t hurt as bad he only hurt me physically Cole hurt me emotionally.

“You aren’t listening!!!” Jonathon roared crushing a rib and it was the last straw for me today. I didn’t care who it was.

“You don’t do that!!!!!!!!” I screamed, “You don’t treat me like this!!!!!!!!!” I felt myself rise into a levitation kick and I started my biggest fight ever. I also felt myself lose the worst ever but I heard when Cole stepped in as demon Cole protecting me from death. My last thought before blackness took over, though, was that I was close to death yet again.