Chapter Thirty-four

Chapter 34

“Hello Lily-bear.” Jonathon said when I opened the door.

“Jonathon.” I forced a smile through my fear. I remembered everything I’d been through in my future but the memories I was supposed to only have now were clearer in my mind so I didn’t get confused.

“I’m so sorry for yesterday, Lily-bear.” He sighed and I remembered the bruise I would find on my eye if I looked in the mirror.

“May I tell Kali to take her friend out so we are alone?” I asked permission.

“Of course not if she has a friend over tell her we’ll just go on over to my house. Don’t worry about your bags you can just use the clothes you have there.” He smiled eagerly and I shivered but he drew me into his arms and kissed me and I remembered his kisses and how much I had sometimes enjoyed them before Cole’s so I tried to forget Cole’s touch and kisses.

“I’ll meet you outside.” I whispered when he pulled away.

“Hurry up.” He whispered urgently in my ear and I nodded. I walked into Kalila’s room. The Kalila in the past she hadn’t disappeared like I had I had taken over myself but I would have the memories of this time when I left.

“I’ll be at Jonathon’s.” I whispered.

“Why’d you lie and say I had a friend over?” she asked.

“I didn’t want to do this with you in the house again. You deal with it too much.” I explained hugging her tightly, “I love you Kalila. Never forget that. Everything I do is worth it just for you to have a life. Have fun with Mr. Hampton this week I won’t be home for your date.”

“I wish you could help me get ready.”

“I will next time.” I whispered and then hurried to leave. It was nice to see a Kalila that might not like what I did but didn’t hate me for it seemed to understand that it was necessary for us to live.

“Finally,” Jonathon sighed when we got to his house pushing me into his bed and forcing himself onto me. “You are being difficult this week, Lily-bear. Have you not forgiven me?” he asked after already doing it once that night it was always like this though we’d spent all day all week in bed and he’d had his way with me too many time to count always complaining that I wasn’t being easy enough for him.

“Of course I have.” I nodded.

“No you haven’t!” he argued.

“I’m sorry, Jonathon.” I cried feeling a tear fall, “Forgive me I promise I will prove to you that I’ve forgiven you. I’ve just been… distracted.” I begged and then I rolled over on top of him and kissed him taking the lead for once he immediately forgave me and his hold tightened as he got into it but I knew I’d have to continue to pretend to love him the rest of the time. The rest of the week I pushed Cole out of my mind and pretended it was Jonathon I loved and by the end of the week it didn’t feel like I was pretending too much. That was until he got mad then he hit me and sent me home.

“What happened?” Kalila asked.

“I wasn’t easy enough for the first half of the week and then I was too easy.” I whispered painfully knowing that the Kalila she’d turned into and Cole were listening.

“I wish you didn’t have to do this, Lil, he keeps hurting you.”

“Yeah and this baby is due any day now.” I whispered painfully. I knew what happened with this baby the same thing that had happened with all my babies I’d had as a human. It was a stillborn. I hadn’t meant to bring me back to a time when I was going to go through a loss of a child. I didn’t want to go through it but the new Kalila would make me she’d think I deserved it.

“Well at least you won’t see Jonathon for a few days.” Kalila smiled helping me into the bed.

“We need the money Kali.” I whispered.

“Relax he left the money along with a bonus before you left we’ll survive.” She promised, “If nothing else I’ll just ask…”

“No you aren’t asking Mr. Hampton for help. I’ll go ask for forgiveness from Jonathon first.” I shook my head.

“You aren’t dealing with Jonathon until after the baby is born. Maybe I should…”

“No you aren’t going to become a mistress you are going to get a good husband.” I ordered, “You are going to make Mom proud.”

“You make Mom proud.”

“Right because even my twin doesn’t judge me for what I do.”

“I just don’t want you to have to do this your whole life.”

“I’ll just do it until our savings is enough to live on.”

“When I get married we’ll give you some money.”

“Okay Kali.” I smiled but then I moaned.

“What’s wrong?!” she yelled.

“I’m in labor.” I said calmly breathing and she left to go get the doctor. I saw Cole’s worried eyes not knowing what I did with the child that I had but I didn’t see Kalila beside him and figured she’d went to get a better seat for my pain.

“I’m here.” My neighbor, the only one that knew my arrangement with Jonathon and what always ended up being born to me, said. She went to my feet and I expertly delivered but she took the blanket and covered the baby’s face with it leaving without a word while Kalila came to the head of the bed. She crawled into the bed with me holding my shaking body while I cried.

“Why, Kali?!” I yelled, “Is it my punishment?!?!”

“No God doesn’t punish like this.” She shook her head, “There’s no explanation.” She held me tighter as I just cried into her and I suddenly missed my human life when my sister was there for me when I was in pain. She didn’t cause me my pain.

“Thank you, Kalila.” I whispered.

“For what?”

“You’re here for me. I need you. I’ll always need you. Never forget that. I’ve never done anything to hurt you not on purpose anyway you know that right?”

“Of course where’s this coming from?”

“I don’t know I guess it’s just…”

“The loss of another baby.” She whispered holding me tighter.

“I miss Mom and Dad, Kali.” I whispered.

“I do too. Why did you take us from there?”

“The servant was hitting me every night and told me Daddy was sending him because I killed Mom. He told me Daddy was going to kill us.” I whispered, “I think I should have talked to Daddy instead of taking his word though. I shouldn’t have just run away from everything.”

“You should have really told me all that back then.” Kalila said.

“What?”

“It’s really me it’s not past me. When you went into labor I had Cole put past me to sleep outside so that I could make up with you I remembered all the pain you went through for me and I couldn’t think of a good reason to stay mad. I knew if I waited until we got to the future though we wouldn’t get to be alone.”

“I’ve missed you Kali.” I whispered hugging her and then we heard a knock.

“Open up Lily-bear!” Jonathon’s voice came through the door.