Ritual

A skinny colorless drained soul
That spits out nothing keeps a constant
Joyful stasis, not
Asking for anything.

A skinny colorless drained soul
Refutes the vagaries of stasis -
Observing us all.

All indications stay rooted
As they are left unsigned.
All life becomes unique -
Suggesting a meeting, seen
By emptiness.
Disenchanted and violent -
No time passes.
Never, never, never
Leaving us. Later,
We visit only what remains.

Reviews

[...]

. oh ... gosh ... this is probably a micro epic that gives one some incredible insights into the human mind ... since i belong to a society and country that is neck deep in rituals, i find the title significant and meaningful ... very little is accomplished by those rituals ... they cause no evolution or progress ... indeed "we visit only what remains" ... sometimes, i really find my society and its traditions archaic and regressive ... the loss of momentum in evolution is almost palpable ... things only get progressively worse ... and emptier ... but then ... sometimes ... there's a tiny ray of hope ... inspiration consumes ... and one transcends social and other limitations ... i guess i live for those special moments ... and keep waiting for them while my life is unraveling in not so pleasant hues ... maybe we all do ... just my thoughts after reading this profound piece of writing ... superbly written ...

[Rosalind Gale]

Thank you my dearest writer -
-xx-

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

A skinny colorless drained soul
Refutes the vagaries of stasis-
Observing us all. -- these are incredible lines.

You have woven quite a tale here...cautionary, revolutionary, strong, and poignant. I like the unique poetic voice that you have; it is all your own and it shines through all of your work (or all that I have read). This particular piece flows beautifully, and yet it feels distinctly modern. Well done!

[Kaya]

As grateful I am that you are, the more of your work i read the more shocked I am that you're on this site. You're writing truly should be published. This is incredible and i related to it so deeply on an emotional level. Absolutely beautiful.

[Rosalind Gale]

Thank you so very much Kaya - I really am appreciative of your words.
-x-

[Baby Ricochet]

A skinny colorless drained soul. Cool.

[zainul]

Nice work.

[Corset]

Amazing lines that make me feel as if i'm living in the "twilight Zone" , amazing write.

[Kristallo]

"A skinny colorless drained soul"- I can relate to that very personally. This one is very observant, I loved the last stanza especially, it reminds me very much of human nature. 'Disenchanted and violent.' Its as if your addressing our most primal selves, observing our ubiquity, calling out the lonliness and the emptiness that plague us as a race. Each moment is so full, yet so empty, our attention span is so short that most people rarely immerse themselves in the right now. And looking back 'we visit only what remains'- a scattered box of memories. That's how I perceived this masterful manipulation of language and evocative emotion. Your writing is so intense, so much intelligence and artistry is seldom beheld and I am completely enamored by it. Keep writing, I love the inner workings of your mind. =) Great work.

[Mickey Hilts]

what a wonderful and thoughtful review of this poem, i enjoyed reading it, thanks

[Leslie Philibert]

This is a fine poem, enigmatic and full of lyrical beauty and excellent use of language.

[Mickey Hilts]

I love this - surreal yet perfectly clear!

[Lydia]

I like this one a lot. I think you've nailed it. Well expressed! Good work!