The Kingdom Of Bandiwoop And Bindle's Dangerous Journey

 

 

The Kingdom Of Bandiwoop

 

 

 

 

 

 

There lives in the kingdom of Bandiwoop an unusual little blurbble named Bindle Bundleburp. Bindle was unusual in many ways. One of them being his appearance. At only four inches tall he was two inches shorter than the most blurbbles and his wings were much smaller and weaker than most, though he did have big blue eyes and big pointed ears like the rest of his race..

 

Now Bindle wouldn’t consider himself the bravest of blurbbles nor would he consider himself the most cowardly, but at the moment bindle was very afraid indeed, for he was about to do something no blurbble had done for a thousand years or more.

 

 

That very morning Bindle had discovered that his closest friend had plans to go through the portal to earth. Which is very dangerous and forbidden. So Bindel set out on a journey to rescue him .As he walked along Bindel thought Ok, here’s the plan: go through the portal, get Coodle, come home. Hmmm, actually, that’s not much of a plan at all. Perhaps I had better give this some more thought before moving on. So Bindle found himself a nice shady little pubbleberry tree, made himself a comfy little nest and began to think quite earnestly about his plan.

 

 

See the thing is, Bindle just had to find Coodle (Coodle being his very favorite and only pet), and there was simply no question about that. He just couldn’t go on without old Coodle, but oh, if King Honker were to find out about this I’d be banished from Bandiwoop for sure." Thought Bindle, Oh Snonkers! How do I always get myself in such a mess? This really is all Coodles fault". Thought Bindle, why, oh why, did he run away? And to the people world! Is he mad? There are giants and monsters and many other nasty creatures there. He’s bound to get eaten or stepped on or or oh, I can’t bear to go on thinking of it.

 

As these thoughts were going through his head Bindles eyes were wandering over the pubbleberries. "Hmm", he thought, "maybe I ‘ll have just one berry before I move on". "Well yes, after all I better keep my strength up if I’m to rescue Coodle."So after filling up on berries bindle was feeling quite sleepy

 

 

"You know if I do say so myself I think I have made quite a very fine nest here under this pubbleberry tree, quite a fine nest indeed." said Bindle. "This could be a very long journey "I think for Coodles sake I had better take just a little nap so as to be very well rested should I have to face danger" said Bindle. So he curled up in the nest and went right off to sleep.

Unbeknownst to Bindle Coodle was doing all he could to get back before it was to late. For he knew if Bindle crossed over into the other world alone, he would never come back. And Coodle did love Bindle dearly. He had thought to be back before Bindle woke for breakfast, but things hadn’t worked out as he planned. You see Coodle was on a secret mission for the king, as Coodle is one of the bravest and smartest creatures in the kingdom. And, well, Bindle isn’t. So the king thought it best to just leave Bindle out of things. Coodle didn’t like to keep secrets from Bindle but he knew it was for the best.

 

Bindle and Coodle had always had a special connection. From the very first moment Bindle had found Coodle as a baby. Sometimes they just knew things about each other. Now even though Coodle had tried so hard to hide it, Bindle knew he had gone to the portal. Oh, poor Bindle. I hope I make it back in time, thought Coodle.

Now everyone in Bandiwoop knew about the portal. It’s been there since, well, it’s always been there. No one has ever gone through it, not in Bindles time anyway, until now. The legend says that many many years ago man and blurbbles were friends and crossed freely into each others worlds until a day when the king of man is said to have betrayed the king of the blurbbles and passage through the portal was forbidden and has been ever since.

 

Bindle woke from his nap feeling refreshed and ready to go find Coodle. He snuck a little peek at the pubbleberry tree and thought maybe he had time for just a couple more berries but no, no, no, he thought, Coodle needs me. Must be strong old fellow. So off he went along the path. After a moment Bindle remembered the reason he had stopped under the tree in the first place was to come up with a plan. Well thought Bindle first things first. Get to the portal. That’s what I must do and off he went again along the path.

After walking along for a bit bindle came to the Looploo River. Hmmm, thought Bindle, I don’t remember it being quite so big. I dear say I don’t think my wings are strong enough to get me across. Well I won’t know until I try, here goes nothing thought Bindle and splash there he went into the water. Bindle was feeling very ashamed of himself he was probably the worst flyer out of all the blurbbles. Oh, however would he get across?

 

Bindle was worrying this over when he spotted a poof poof flower by the rivers edge. Now poof poof flowers are known to be a little stuck up and they don’t like doing anything for anyone without getting something in return but Bindle had always managed to get on with them quite well.

"My dear Madame I must say you are looking absolutely positively lovely today." Bindel said to the poof poof, "very kind of you to say sir" replied the poof poof, "I hate to impose on a delicate creature such as yourself but I must beg a favor of you." said Bindle, "Really?" said the flower, I don’t know about that. I don’t usually go about doing favors for strangers. "Of course you don’t." said Bindle But I can tell that you are a most kind and loving poof poof why I bet you are the envy of all the other flowers. Well it is true you know said the poof poof. Now what can I do for you, my dear fellow? If you could just fly me to the other side of the river I would be forever in your debt said Bindle. Well. I was just heading over there anyway said the flower, hop on.

After crossing the river Bindel thanked the poof poof and went on his way. Suddenly bindle heard a sound that stopped him cold. That sure sounded like a dragon thought Bindle. There are only two dragons in bandiwoop, Moop and Noop. Moop got on fine with everyone and didn’t cause any trouble; he was actually quite pleasant. Noop on the other hand loved to terrorize the good blurbbles of bandiwoop he caused trouble whenever and wherever he could.

Bindle searched the sky but saw no dragon then he heard it again and this time there was no mistaking the roar. He dove into the bushes to hide but too late. The dragon saw him and uh oh it was Noop.

Do you know what you just did? Roared, the dragon, to Bindle. Nnnoo sir stuttered Bindle. I spent the last two hours stalking an invisible horple through the forest and was about to eat him for lunch when you got in the way. Now what am I to do for lunch little blurbble hmmm? Well-said Bindle there is quite a delectable little pubbleberry tree just across the river a little ways. Dragons do not eat berries little one. You have cost me my lunch so you will now become my lunch roared the dragon.

Bindle was searching frantically for a place to hide, he knew there was no way he could out run or out fly the dragon. Bindle spotted a little cave off to his right and he rushed toward it but the dragon spotted it to and blocked it before he got there. Well into the water then, he dived into the Looploo River and held his breath. Oh what would happen to poor old coodle if he were turned into lunch? Bindle could hold his breath no longer. He was ready to except his fate. He raised him self from the water and stared in astonishment for standing before him was a frozen dragon and sitting on the dragons head was Coodle! One of Coodle’s talents’s was freezing things.

Bindle was happier then he’d ever been. He was alive and he’d found Coodle. He thought perhaps he should be stern with Coodle though to teach him a lesson. Coodle you come down here right now he said. Coodle immediately flew down and rested beside bindle. Coodle where have you been? Do you know what you have put me through said bindle? I have been on a long and dangerous journey in search of you. Coodle spoke in a language that very few creatures could understand and he said, but Bindle I can see our house from here and Bindle looked and sure enough there was his little round house. He hadn’t gotten very far at all. Well never mind that said Bindle. Tell me Coodle, did you go through the portal? What was it like? What did you see? That said Coodle is a tale for another day. Let’s go home.

Reviews

[angelinmypocket]

What a delightful fantasy you have penned here Mary. You have a tremendous imagination. Very readable with a fantasy mystery. I love a mystery on any flavor. The kingdom of Bandiwoop is indeed a magical place.
Liz

[SunnyWriter]

this is great!

[Dark Daughters]

I like that word, Bandiwoop, great job and what a wonderful story.
~Darkness~

[Steffi]

I like how it was a sort of fairytale. :D
It was really creative. And the flow was continous which is always good for keeping the attentions of younger audiences.
The only thing i can say is I saw some spots were names were'nt capitolized. And also Dialouge always needs to be seperate with "(Insert Dialouge here)" If not it gets confusing to the reader.

[joshua rainbird]

Okay, the story is good at generating unusual names but is this enough to sustain a young child's imagination ? Some kids respond very well to onomatopoeia whilst others need colour and concrete things that they can relate to. My main concern is that there is a lot for them to take in that's new which isn't described.

Apart from the protagonist the story is actually light on description. Children will want to know what the portal looks like, what kind of pet is Coodle (for all I know he could be anything from an iguana to a Great Dane), and what makes the dragon scary. It wouldn't need much detail, but it does need some. Ask any child 'What does the wolf look like in Red Riding Hood ?' and they'll tell you about their favourite bit of the story.

My minor concerns are:

- that there are some more older words that might need explaining: unbekownst; delectible; portal; and possibly, astonishment

- that the word 'poof' is derogatory slang for homosexual in Great Britain

- that some kids feel cheated when the story isn't concluded and you get the line 'wait for another day'

That said I can think that with a good storyteller reading this, adding their own flourishes ad hoc, four year olds would find it enjoyable. To be sustainable as a reading book would require a very good illustrator to fill in the gaps it currently has.

Best wishes
Josh

[Mary Balfanz]

love it