Don't let him down

Dedicated to Father & all those daughters who have lovely daddies & they love him a lot.

Don't let him down

He kissed her

       On her forehead.

When she was blood red.

       Just taken away

From her mother’s womb.

 

He had always wished

            for a daughter.

Unlike others

          Who run behind son.

 

He changed her nappy.

      Every time she made it dirty.

Holding her tender fingers

      He saw her walking.

 

 He slapped her

      When she cried

 To impart discipline

      Saying disturbing others

 Is creating nuisance.

 

  He held the seat

    And was running behind her.

To make sure that she doesn’t fall

    From the bicycle.

 

He beat her for Mathematics

    Though he himself was poor in it.

Only with a hope that

   She could fare well in academics.

 

He financed her education

As he found no difference

Between a son & a daughter

 

He promoted all her hobbies

   Say painting, writing or singing.

He knew one day she will make it

   Big… Big…very very big.

 

He took her to church

    To tell her who Christ Jesus was

To show her “your sufferings are less

    You have a bigger example here”.

 

 To failure & criticism

     “Don’t panic” he said.

“The trees with sweetest fruits

     Are stoned the most” he continued.

 

Alas! One day. He was very upset.

    To discover her affairs with nasty boys.

He cried the third time in his life.

    First When his Mother passed away.

     Second When he parted ways with his wife.

 

With a limping leg, he searched a groom.

     To give her hand to him.

 

He desires to breath his last

After seeing the grand wedding of his angel

After seeing the smiling faces of his grand children.

 

With frequent cramps on his legs

With wrinkles on his face

He still believes "

“That a son is a son till he gets a wife.

But, a daughter is a daughter. All her life”. 

 

 

 It is your father dear girl.

Don’t let him down.

Don’t let him down............!

 

 

Author's Note

I don't know how to write indirectly to grab attention of profound writers.
I think it needs revision.
I will work on it.

Reviews

[1 Deep]

I like this peice, I'm not a father but having a daughter would be great and scary at the same time. I think a dads love for his daughter is unique and cannot be matched. The 'beat for mathematics' part threw me off slightly, I hope it wasnt literal. Elegant peice.

[Mary Christabel George]

Hee...Hee...:)
U know what?
Ma dad use to beat me for mathematics. I was in dilemma always about Addition (+) & Multiplication (*) so ya it was kinda literal.
And Deep I admire & respect your views about fatherhood

[Jamie Cook]

T-T I won't you down dad!......wherever you are...this was beautiful!!! ohmygawd! Like.....damn that hit the soft spot on me, I really loved this you write awesomely Mary! You're amazing!

[Mary Christabel George]

Thanks for all the praising words.
I will always make sure that you have a happy read always from ma end.....:)

[AYVID]

Mary! This is your best! There is beauty in every line and no revisions are suggested. I did not have such a father as described in your poignant and touching poem but I still do care a lot for him because we do love our parents. You have successfully sketched the picture of a very dear and loving father. Kudos! And my heartfelt compliments!

Keep writng. You are doing absolute wonders.

[AYVID]

Yes, there are a few structural things that could be improved upon, but I am confident that you will overcome all those little glitches as you go on writing! So no worries! All in good time.

[Mary Christabel George]

Dear Divya, I tried to portray my father here. What all he did for me. Thanks for sharing your emotions about your father. I am sorry about it. I am sailing in the same boat when it comes to my mother. I love her a lot & striving hard for her love. I am really very happy that you liked it. It feels good when a good writer compliments me. Lots of smilies for you........:) :) :) :)

[AYVID]

You are welcome Mary. It warms my heart so when I get to read such a sincere and well-written poetry, from the heart. You'll go place. Just keep writing! :)

[Mary Christabel George]

Thanks for all the motivation you providing me dear.
Take care.....:)

[Somebrownnerd]

Poetry and painting are very similar: Sometimes you focus on the details to portray greater clarity. Sometimes you bend the lines to peek imagination. Then other times you just throw emotion on the canvas and hope it sticks. I really liked this particular work, because its audience is so broad, and the emotion so deep. I think you weave a fantastic story here, and concluded it in an excellent fashion. Though I would not consider myself a profound writer, I do enjoy reading; and I was delighted to read this.

-SBN

[Mary Christabel George]

SBN... This is such a great review.
I absolutely agree with the similarity between Poetry & Painting.
We share mutual understanding regarding the construction of a poem & what goes into making of it.
Its a kind of story in the form of poem. You have caught the nerve of it.
I too liked the ending part of it.
Thanks for the read & I am so so happy that you personally liked it.

[Silhouette]

I don't think it needs revision, you have certaintly grabbed my attention. I just had to know how it ended and was extremely satisfied with the ending. You have written this very well, and I agree: we should never let our fathers down.

[Mary Christabel George]

Thanks for liking the end.
I wanted to end it that way & it should end that way itself.
And yes we should not let our father down.
Thanks once again sweety........!

[Silhouette]

You're welcome =)

[Will]

The concept is brilliant, but just grammatically and format wise it need some work. Im sure with another look over you could spot a few, but give it a look.co think a revision would be nice for this piece, especially just to really polish it off. Just make sure you don't lose sight of the original vision, because it's wonderful. Keep working :)

[Mary Christabel George]

Will,
Thank you for liking the concept. Grammar & format needs a touch to make it polished. And I will make sure the beauty of concept remains unaltered.

[Chris]

The thought does not need polish... just the chosen form you express it within.

[Mary Christabel George]

Hmmmmmmmmm................
Yes as you say Sir.
Thanks for the read.
:)

[PoeticVandal]

It is a nice poem. but i'd say lose the numbers in stanza 11.

[Mary Christabel George]

Yes... I have made the necessary changes.
Thanks for making me improve.
:)