Living in Grey

response to a writing prompt about grief

For as long as was possible

I dismissed its existence

Like a shadow it followed me

Ever the champion of persistence

It gripped my warm heart

In its cold, grey grasp

No matter my efforts

There was no escaping the past

 

I still laughed but dared not a smile

There was no joy to draw from

I sang a sweet melody

Though my intent was all wrong

A master in my craft of fallacy

I deceived like no other

I stayed alone in the darkness

Wanting no help from a brother

 

The hole in my chest

Refused to be filled

No words would return them

Too much blood had been spilled

I wandered around

Like poor lost specter

My soul not be sated

Happiness gone from me forever

 

The worst part of it all

Was the act I would play

The face I wore for others

Where I lied I was okay

There was nothing to say

And even less to do

The gray that had seized me

Was what would stay and see me through

 

Going through the motions

Is what my life has become

Life’s purpose is stolen

I’m now alone till I’m done

I can’t help but wonder

At what point I will break

Where my mask will fall down

And they see my true state