Chasing Catharsis

In the need of release

To be honest, I’m jealous of those who cry on a regular basis

It looks like a great source of internal release

I rarely cry on my own

It’s just not something that comes easily

Sadness doesn’t really do it

When I’m moved or inspired it’s closer to a “teared up” feeling, no actual weeping

There are days when frustration, loneliness, anger…whatever

Builds and builds inside of me that I need to release the pressure

Emotions feel like they will actually explode out of me and I think

If only I could just cry they would leave!

But I can’t

So I live on the edge of bursting

Just hoping for the pressure to subside

It will leave me eventually

I just have to wait and hold on

Those of you who cry may feel like a mess that can’t help it

But coming from someone who wishes they could cry and can’t

I’d rather have the pressure come out then keep it in

Reviews

[Nigel Newman]

Mitch, I think this works poetically. It leaves the reader hanging - will he won't he. The title fits very well.

We're all amateur shrinks. For what it's worth based on my own experience, you can't be true in release unless you're true in the suffering or sadness. So many of us come from, and never quite depart, our civilised outer skin. We rationalise. We assess possibilities and probabilities. So a loss or sorrow can sometimes be seen on some levels as just one of those things, almost statistically. One might THINK we're being truthful and complete, but we very possibly are only showing intellectualised grief. So our result, at best, is intellectualised tears. If you want real, true, tears and release, you must truly fully and totally have invested yourself in what went before. OK. End of amateur shrink. Take no notice!

It's a good poem that paints its pictures convincingly and brings the reader along to the will he won't he. Nice work.

Regards
Nigel

[Mitch]

Thanks, Nigel for the review. This is still very much a thing for me, but not as much of a frustrating aspect. True catharsis is hard to come by, but maybe not needing the release as often as others is a different kind of blessing.

[Nigel Newman]

Hmm. It's not for me to mentor from a distance, but I have two things to say. First, from my own experience, to this day I'm probably seen as even-tempered and calm and never angry. But here's the thing. If you were to ask me 'think of a moment when you were you most happy/sad/angry/confident/etc I would be unable to answer. For whatever reason, my approach to life smoothes out the worst of the troughs and, as part of the quid pro quo, smoothes out the highest of the peaks. It's not bad at all, but maybe it's less exciting. So that's the first thing - make of it what you wish.

Second thing - I'm reminded of a cartoon I've seen. There's a businessman sitting at his desk. He is dressed immaculately. His desk is immaculately tidy. The rest of his work area is equally immaculate. He sits at his blank desk straight on, shoulders back square, head stiffly held high. The caption reads "Perfectly ready for his learn-to-be-spontaneous session". And my point is you can't schedule catharsis. It happens when and only when the stars align, the stars being concepts like open-ness, true feelings, honesty about yourself and having a genuine and fundamental desire to change, and receptiveness to permit yourself to go with the moment, whilst having trust in whomever may also be involved at the time. I don't think you can plan it. It happens. I've been lucky enough when facilitating training sessions about various interpersonal skills to occasionally observe such moments. After a while I got to realise when they might be coming and could mentally and emotionally prepare. It can be very moving for those who may witness it. The change itself that arises from a cathartic moment obviously depends on what was 'bugging' the person concerned. It could be a relationship issue, might be something like what's behind a fear of public speaking, etc etc. The key factors that need to be in place are pretty much the same. OK that's the second.

I've offered these to you Mitch, but obviously each person's situation is unique. Please take great care about acting on anything I may have said, but by all means add it to your thoughts and considerations. Good luck.

[PoeticSorcery]

I can see that, though I never cry myself. I often wonder if I should, but I worry about not being able to stop.