Become Darkness

The flip side to my normal

There is darkness within me

I can almost feel it in the back of my mind

I keep watch on it with vigilance most steadfast

                But there are times when it casts a shadow

Black and white looks almost grey as it is touched by that thing deep within

Things begin to look different, my eyes are clouded and soon I can no longer see

It brings with it fear, panic, and anger and comes to just under the surface

My mind becomes dark

There is cold

With the usual semblance of me no longer to be seen I am become darkness

I am mean and cruel.  I am short tempered and unfair.

I am hurtful and almost care enough to take pleasure in it.

The truth is I am most apathetic.  I just want to be left alone.

In what seems like a long eclipse of midnight darkness seems like it has no end

                But then comes a slow sunrise and the darkness recedes like a tide of the sea

                Carrying with it all the garbage it has accumulated during the night

The sun shines and I am myself again, no longer an agent of night

But on the horizon the darkness waits

It builds and festers until the light slumbers again

When once again day becomes night