Separate Ways

Just a quick piece I knocked up on the thought of something.

The day will come where I will be gone,
And I can't give you all you deserve,
But know that I will be there,
Waiting in the life after next.

We've spent some great years,
Together, even when we're apart,
But we found a way,
For our hearts to never be apart.

Even though I am gone,
My heart still belongs to you,
Because you made me, me,
And gave my heart to you.

My love will be forever,
Even though my form may be not,
I'll still be with you everyday,
On the shelf in the pot.

Reviews

[Kiara]

Wow, I feel like the last line just slapped me in the face. This is really good. I like that your poems aren't very long and this one is probably my favorite. :)

[marty360]

Thank you for your comments :-)
I don't like to write too many long pieces as I find meaning can be lost when there is too much on the page and I like people to fully comprehend what I'm trying to put across :-).

~ M

[Vidya Bacchus]

What a sweetly romantic poem said in simple little lines.Great write:)

[marty360]

Thank you :)

[Blank]

What a sweet poem. It makes me think of elderly couples, one passing on before the other... I've always wondered how they survive that, how strong they are to lose the person they've been with for the majority of their lives often times, to suddenly be so alone.

I enjoyed the ending, it's not where I was expecting it to go. You have a very straight forward voice and the simplicity is elegant. Very nice write, thank you for sharing.

[marty360]

Yes, that is something that is unknown until you are feeling it.
Thank you :-)

[Sami Khalil]

A very nice and sweet poem. I like the ending the most...Bravo

[marty360]

Thank you very much :-)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)

[Annie S]

Damn! the ending of this piece just hit me on the head.. great way of using your talent! haha
All the emotions that bottled up and exploded with great simplicity yet an awesome write
Keep writing :)

[marty360]

Thank you, Annie :-). Really appreciate your comments :-)

[Annie S]

You're welcome :)

[Laminators Dubai]

very nice...
meaning is coming up easily, feeling it,
your words works,

simplicity is shiney.

[marty360]

Thank you for your comments :-)

[Luke Rawlings]

A good piece with some raw emotions in there, I enjoyed reading it. The phrasing is a little difficult in places to understand, especially in the second and third verse. A good idea overall :)

[Mizo4]

nice poem, the last line made me think... on the shelf in the pot... by that you mean in the ashes right.
but yes its an interesting peice of poetry that deals with death.

[marty360]

Yes I was on about the ashes in the urn. Thank you for your review, Marion. I appreciate it :).