Luring Temptation

A poem of a lost, wondering soul in the wake of the day.

A mind full of wonder,
A heart full of despair,
A soul full of compassion,
With no one to share.

I've been to heaven, and back,
Crossed the Sahara sands,
Even fought the Seven Seas,
But yet I still can't find that one person,
Who loves me, for me.

Oh mind,
Why dost thou tempt me,
With a night of pleasant dreams,
But when I lay in my chamber,
Thoughts are all that teem.

I try again, to rest my mind,
And slow the beating of my heart,
Lift the lid off my soul,
And for a few brief hours; from this world
--- I depart.

Reviews

[Mak(ayla:)]

It's hard to find that special someone. Very understandable. I really enjoyed this piece. It had a really good flow. Keep up the good work.

-Mak(:

[marty360]

Thank you for your comments :).
Yes, we all are just on a constant search to find the one true love.

~ M (:

[Mak(ayla:)]

You're most welcome. How about let love come to you, instead you searching for it. Just give it time. That's all you really need.

-Mak(:

[marty360]

Yeah, I've learnt that over the years and let it find me now. But I find waiting is a pursuit in itself :)

~ M (:

[Mak(ayla:)]

It sure is(:

-Mak(:

[quinfinn]

i could throw all the old euphemisms at you, you know, like...a watched pot never boils, or a rolling stone gathers no moss, but you already know this....it is estimable and proven that when one seeks love or tries to force the hand of kismet....it doesn't work....so i will leave you with this wisdom...chance favors the prepared mind and good things come to those who wait....love, she is a stinker! excellent write, dear marty

[marty360]

It is what I decided to do after I wrote this (about 5 years ago), I gave up in trying to seek love in the hope it just falls in place, as it should :)
Yes, she is indeed haha :)
Thank you Quinfinn :)

[quinfinn]

always a pleasure!

[Sarah Conder]

I love the fast pace of the first stanza, it reflects the mind racing with so many different emotions wonderfully. You have a lovely way with words :)

[marty360]

That was the thing I was aiming to do with the first stanza, thank you for noticing :).
Thank you for your comment, I shall be uploading some of my old writing soon so feel free to keep an eye out for them as I shall do with yours :)

[Sarah Conder]

No problem, I will do :)

[Infinity Blues]

The tittle jumped out at me, and you've certainly gotten the desired effect with changing the language stlye.
I felt the drifting of the write. Another splendid piece

[Sarah Khalil]

This is your best piece (I skimmed over your works!). Simple, sad, effective, and quite universal and resonant.

My only criticism is that the "Why dost thou temp me" line - first of all, the temp/tempt typo, but mostly because it's out of place and seems contrived compared to the rest of the poem.

[marty360]

Yes that is a typo. I type them down on my iPad and get rather quick at typing to the point I do make a typo every now and then. Thanks for pointing that out, I shall change it now :).
And yes it is contrived, deliberately :) I wanted that stanza to stand out so a slight change in language is what I decided to use :).
Thanks for the review though and thanks for the comment :).
Feel free to add me :).

[Sarah Khalil]

Gladly. Looking forward to your feedback and future works!

[marty360]

Why thank you :).