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A Poem by marty360
"

Just a quick piece I knocked up on wanting to be with someone who is not near you.

"
We can talk about anything,
We can talk all day long,
You're perfect in every way,
There's only one thing wrong.

We talk about the good times,
We talk about the bad,
But still there's something missing,
Something I can't quite place.

We connect on many levels,
We connect with our hearts,
But we can't connect our hands,
When we're six thousand miles apart.

We'll find a way to be together,
We'll find a way to be one,
You'll be in my thoughts,
You'll be in my heart,
Until the day,
The day I depart.

© 2013 marty360


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Reviews

i know that feeling,
cant find it healing.

you get my words.
you did a great job flow is glowing!


Posted 11 Years Ago


marty360

11 Years Ago

But there could be that one you don't give a chance that is perfect. Just gotta say "what the hell" .. read more
Laminators Dubai

11 Years Ago

sure did...
but for me life is a piece of cake! im hindu and in vedas, they say : happy or sad.. read more
Laminators Dubai

11 Years Ago

sorry its "never"
never live for your self

my typing sucks
I can relate to this one right now, as my boyfriend is currently on the other side of the world.
Its a very great piece, and to which I enjoyed immensly. The rhyme and flow were done to perfection.
Great write, well done. :)
-Infinity

Posted 11 Years Ago


marty360

11 Years Ago

Thanks :) yeah, a lot of people experience this and I haven't seen much written on it.
Thanks .. read more
I can personally relate to this piece, it is magical. You already know about the title from other reviews, but the simple language used gives the poem a kind of serene innocence. A really good write, though I have to ask. The last lines on the final two verses rhyme, was that intentional? It would have been a really cool twist to have included it throughout. A good read though, I like this one.

Posted 11 Years Ago


marty360

11 Years Ago

Thanks, Luke :). Yes it was intentional, although having it throughout would have been good I didn't.. read more
It was a good poem, I find the title of this poem quite witty and was actually expecting something a little more humorous. Very nice juxtaposition against the sadness of the poem itself.

Posted 11 Years Ago


marty360

11 Years Ago

Thank you. Yes I wanted to find something that was rather juxtaposed to the actual writing.
This is very sweet, but tragic at the same time.
I like the writing. The repetions give the poem a good rhythm and a good flow, and puts emphasis on the important things. Also I like the use of contrast.

Posted 11 Years Ago


marty360

11 Years Ago

Thank you for your review, I appreciate it. Feel free to add me :).

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238 Views
5 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on May 23, 2013
Last Updated on May 23, 2013
Tags: coputers, distance, love, error, 404

Author

marty360
marty360

Bradford/Huddersfield, West Yorkshire, United Kingdom



About
21 years of age. Studying Global Business Management at university and I am in my final year of study. Plan on moving to America after my degree so you may see a lot of American themed pieces or pie.. more..

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A Poem by marty360