S-H-E (Surely Hidden Existence)

Just the piece that i wrote when i was deeply fucked up.

It's dark, shivering, cold,
that walk on the one way road,
no one's starting their own path
but following of what they've been told.

I am aching for a crossroad.

Followed by the sorrow, i've turned
devoted myself to nocturne.
While the mist is swallowing me,
i'm quenching my eyes to see, 
one brick, one glimmer of light or even just a tree,
so i could know i've made the right turn.

Then,
all of a sudden, 
a silhouette.
It started haunting me.
I've almost felt it's smell and breath,
pick myself up and turned around and oh!
Suprise!
It was SHE.

The sorrow was gone, blown away, 
once again i could freely breathe,
knowing that i'm not a loner anymore.
Now, there's someone following me.

So i ran, ran through the mist,
through the landscapes of nocturne,

but all the sudden i heard her laughing,
with grimy laugh that cuts deep and burn.

The sorrow is back in the second,
but then, it all started to happen,
All of it vaporized. Left. Gone.
The road.The mist.The quenching.

It was only me with my thoughts.
My feelings are gone.Dead.
There wasn't ever any mist, any road, just misery playing with my head.

So, 
here i am, lonely as ever,
wondering how it could be,
allthough, all this time i was
and i'll always be sure,
that it's madly hard to find my SHE.

Author's Note

There are maybe some mistakes as i didn't have time to correct the poem, i've barely got enough time to even type it so, don't be evil :P

All the critics are more than welcome! ;)

Reviews

[Anya Myth]

It's dark and it's cold and it's short (at least the sentences are) and you made it your own. But all of that running from something and finding 'SHE' who disappears again is certainly something to think about. But then again you make it sound as if there IS nothing.
Sorry for the little rant. However, it is a beautiful poem and I think we can forgive the typos. Keep at it. :)

[FromOuterspace]

Thnx...Like i said, it's not edited, will edit when i find some extra time to spare. Right now i'm working on some short stories i will soon put on the site, originally i don't write poems. I was just experimenting, wanted to test myself and see if i can pull it out and make it nice.
Will edit those typos, found them myself...Thnx for noticing.

[LadySoDivine]

Svaka cast Saso!! :D Odlicno napisano ^^ Nisam imala pojma da si ovoliko dobar xD

[FromOuterspace]

A ti si ko? O.o

[Gary H]

Found this very interesting as with expansion you have something that could develop into a very good story. Personally I don't think you need to rhyme words so much as it takes the power away and limits what you can say. Good luck.

[Danilo Ašanin / ..]

I thought SHE was a mistake until I read the title. Nice flow. :)