Gone are the days

Gone are the days when I lived to see you here.

Gone are the days, and you will not come back.

There remains only the emptyness

Left with a killer feeling

In a body that was always doomed

Gone are the days when I lived to see you here

And those arrived, when I'm alive because I let you go.

Reviews

[bobc]

Just some suggestions...some of the repetition works as in the first and sixth lines. In the second line, you might be consider 'Gone, and you will not come back.' By 'Emptyness', I think you mean 'emptiness' in the third line. The fourth line could be 'A killer feeling'...leaving out 'Left with'. The last line could be simply 'I'm alive because I let you go.'

Good start with this. Enjoyed it. Keep it up...bob