Suicide

Suicide

by Marshal Gebbie

For my mate Ernest W who cared....

Invisible in silky strands, a gossamer of lethal thought,
Drifting through the nether regions, touching on my mind.
Complication’s vagaries encroaching on the circumspect
Magnifying well beyond solutions I can find.

Nervous in the groundswell now, I feel it all inflating,
Inflating to a curtaining beyond my self control,
Waves of peristalsis in a shrill persistant keening,
Locking out the sanity in holding logic’s goal.

Waves of peristalsis in a bath of perspiration
Panic in a rupture at the coccyx of my spine,
Ravenously eating at the fabric of all reason
Ravenously gnawing at this rationale of mine.

Urine in a puddle on the floor beside my footwear
Cloying is the stench of the urine in my drawers,
Lost are the vestiges of any thought of decency
Gone is the differentiation in my flaws. 

Clenching of hands in a bind of blue confusion
Catatonic slowness in arresting the decline,
Vaccilating eyeballs are rolling for the camera
And utter desolation is a flavour on my mind.

Why be concerned with the shaming of tomorrow?
Why come to terms with the maunderings of late?
Why face the music of the mirth and derision
When there’s a more practical direction to take?

Glide to the realm of the smooth overflowing
Slide in the slipstream oblivion makes,
Slip the bonds of your sad  mortal tenure’s
Awful array of destructive mistakes.

Glide to the realm of serene independence
Glide far away from the troubled and hard, 
Gone to the gossamer web of the ether
Gone to the nether world’s silky facade.

...........: But what's the guts Courageous,
You happy with your deed?
Are your friends all overjoyed 
To see your suicide succeed?
Is your family unaffected
By the loss and guilt remorse,
Your sudden grand departure
leaving kids without recourse?

Did you think about the aftermath?
The chaos and the pain
And the long term implications
Of your shattered families' shame?
The guilt within your partners heart,
The kids who are confused
And the bloody dissapointment
Of your mates.. who feel abused?

The mess you left behind you 
And the tangled web you wove
And the bruising of good memories
For which, you once,...had strove.
Your painless, quick demise, you thought,
Released you from all this.....
But the sadness in the silent eyes
Condemns you as remiss.


Marshalg  
In an effort to understand why?
....And explain why not ! 
9 December 2010

Reviews

[Legacy]

Marshal Gebbie,

First and foremost, I pulled out my Thesaurus... candidly, I admit. Written expressions under intellectual (isms) shadow ‘tis a curious genre'. I do say genre' because there are precious few that can pull-off such, let alone fathom the art.

Realization: there is more than one person with this given talent. (Chime goes off)

I ponder upon the depth, is this possibly true? ... I answer, must be so.

We have the why not down for certain, the why is clouded though. This is not a write to be taken lightly nor is it one to be quickly read through and given a review. One must saturate themselves inside and become one within it. One must meditate and clearly understand every square inch of this poem, I again must admit, will have no choice other than read it slowly several more times before completely absorbed.

I did enjoy the flow and power behind the words.

Not to mention, the use of red works here and the emotion behind it... righteous.

Thank you for the enlightening experience,

Legacy

Pondering if this poem too lengthy for the Dark Secrets Contest on Poetic Infusion Society. If so, would you be willing to splice it? Perfect as it is - just may need shortening for the contest.

[Marie Harrison]

Very moving poem
It grabbed me by
the throat and
squeezed as I
read.