The final day?

I've already read this and I just forgot to put a review D: Sorry! So, I think the different perspectives have got you all over this place. You might want to think about changing it to third person instead, that way you don't have to worry about getting everyone's say it and the reader could follow it easier. Some more detail would be good too. You did a good job at describing the characters at the beginning but more visual on their surroundings is needed. Great idea/story line. If you do decide to keep the perspectives then you should elaborate on what the character is feeling or how differently he/she sees the situation.
Over all, not too bad! Can't wait to see how this turns out.

Posted 12 Years Ago

I love the picture for this. It in my eyes, it suits it very well

Posted 12 Years Ago

I like this and I want to read more. Tell me when you've got the next chapter up

Posted 12 Years Ago

I've already read this and I just forgot to put a review D: Sorry! So, I think the different perspectives have got you all over this place. You might want to think about changing it to third person instead, that way you don't have to worry about getting everyone's say it and the reader could follow it easier. Some more detail would be good too. You did a good job at describing the characters at the beginning but more visual on their surroundings is needed. Great idea/story line. If you do decide to keep the perspectives then you should elaborate on what the character is feeling or how differently he/she sees the situation.
Over all, not too bad! Can't wait to see how this turns out.

Posted 12 Years Ago

if would like me to review your work. I will be glad to. But you must read my books as well. You can find them listed on my profile. Be back to night to read yours.

Posted 12 Years Ago

This sounds good. I just realized that I read only a part of your other book, not this one.

Posted 12 Years Ago