Vacuums

about being at the abortion clinic.. last chance to change history for the good, or for the bad...

What does history being re-written sound like?
It sounds like vacuum cleaners.
So I hope you tune them out, 

and hear me when I say:
I would never try to change you.

That's like plastering arms back on the Statue of David.
Or taking Michelangelo's Hands of God and Adam
and painting their pointed hands back at themselves.
Mistakes are beautiful.
No anti abortion pro-life organization
should have to tell us that.

Let's take a tour of your art gallery before
you walk in the operation room.
Where pictures of bad memories
become more priceless each time you bring up the past.
Masterpieces are defined not because of their age,
but the story behind them

We didn't take time to factor in

how the decision to play God would affect us.

We were young. And literally in love.
I hope you remember what your favorite aunt told you.
That ever since her abortion, till this day
the sound of vacuum cleaners makes her cry.

But its something you learn to live with.

We could struggle in parenthood, or
we could cringe when we walk pass
Chuckie Cheeses or attending baby-showers.
It takes one hour to complete an abortion process.
It takes one lifetime to forgive yourself for it.

The hour of a lifetime passes.
She walks from out the room.
Before I could ask if she was okay,
she leans in and whispers,

"I would never try to change you either,
but we won't change history this time.
An unborn child is the creation of history.
Abortion erases it.
So we decide to make history.

We make plans to take our child to art museums.
Teach them how to become a masterpiece.
Hopefully they won’t have grow up fast like we did 

and confuse the sound of vacuums 

for the sound of history being re-written.

Reviews

[REALIZE]

Powerfully written. I it was deeply emotional. You could sense it when you talked about her favorite aunt.

Top Lines:

"We could struggle in parenthood, or
we could cringe when we walk pass
Chuckie Cheeses or attending baby-showers.
It takes one hour to complete an abortion process.
It takes one lifetime to forgive yourself for it.
That's if your the guilty type."


I think that won me over with this.

[Bhuyanshi Talukdar]

This poem explores the complex emotions and difficult decisions surrounding abortion. The speaker acknowledges the pain and trauma that can come with this decision, and encourages empathy and understanding for those who have gone through it. The poem also touches on the idea of history and how it can be rewritten, both in the context of personal experiences and larger societal issues. Ultimately, the poem suggests that we have the power to create our own history, even in the face of difficult circumstances. Thank you for sharing this thought-provoking poem.

[Nishant Gupta]

nice one read mine too "QUEST OF LIFE"

[Tiffani Michelle]

This is truly a triumph!

[Clarisse Nanoit]

Wow. This piece is SOOO brilliant. Very lovely picture to accompany it, too. =) Anyway, I loved your imagery. This is really a perfect piece. I LOVE IT!
KH

[Kristin Brecoe]

anti-abortion

mistakes are beautiful.

the flow between the stanza that ends with "should have to tell us." and "let's take a tour of your art gallery before" doesn't work too entirely well. it feels to separate. but i like the idea of teh art gallery and i see how it ties into the previously mentioned art pieces. maybe a rewording is what you need. but thats up to you.

"The hour of a lifetime passes.
She walks from out the room.
Before I could ask if she was okay,
she leans in and whispers,
"I would never try to change you either,
but we won't change history this time."
ive got goosebumps from reading this. its lovely. and im glad for the decision.

hmm the next stanza. the wording and redundancy of the last line doesn't help the poem. maybe take out the useage of history. it's a bit too much too often.

i love the ending. that was powerful!

[HorrorMaster]

wow very creepy. I thought it was good and strong.

[Michael X]

wow, this gave me chills, its haunting and speaks volumes, it is spooking to
imagine the sound of vacuum cleaners in context to this amazing poem
that just swept me away, you've done an awsome job. keep it up

[James Watts]

A nice write. The emotions are conveyed well and there is a natural flow.