The Walls Have Fallen

Please comment I really need to know what y'all think. (It's also for my self-esteem)

I'm hurt.
They don't notice.
Maybe they act like they don't notice so they don't have to worry about wasting their time with me.

When people say " if you notice a friend in your group who people don't talk to as much why not talk to them?"
Has anybody thought about that for me?
They just think I'm fine.
Even when they make fun of me.

Stop calling me a basic b***h.
If you think I'm a basic b***h it just means you don't know anything about me.
I'm not basic.
I'm able to do things others aren't,but you don't know that.
You just call me that to make the rest of my "friends" laugh because you have a bad sense of humor.

Let me feel like I'm one of you.
Just because you think my interests and thoughts of things are like an average person's doesn't mean I'm basic.

I'm pale.
I don't like being cold.
They say it's just an excuse.
They don't take me seriously.
Apparently my tears are fake to them.
I'm not albino.

All of my confidence is almost gone.
Not much is left.
I stood strong for long, but piece by piece i began to weaken.
My legs started shaking.
The weight got too big to carry.

In one second my mirror shattered.
The mirror that I looked into and smiled.
I smiled because I was me and I thought people accepted me like that too.
Less and less I lost my acceptance.
I don't smile the same anymore.

In one second my plane crashed.
I used to hold my head higher then the clouds.
Thoughts piled up and I started looking down.
I didn't wanna see the sky anymore.
If I looked up people would think I'm probably seeing things.
If I did something that made me feel like me people would think I'm weird.
They would give me that look in their eyes again.
The look that I'm now afraid of.

In one second my walls had fallen.
I'm too weak to care anymore.
People just don't give me mercy.
It hasn't killed me, but I'm not stronger either.
If anything I'm weaker.
I'm just used to it.
It's not easy to ignore it but I'm capable of it sometimes.
Even if the joke is about me, I laugh.
It better then not smiling at all.

The walls that surrounded and protected me are gone now.
There's nothing I can do.
Just look down.
Be careful.
Avoid conflict.
The walls I had will never be built again.

Reviews

[Smokey]

I think this is really deep and really good!
I understand and can relate to it really well!!!!!!!!!
I really like this poem but I feel there is a lot to it maybe somehow shorten it or split it up
It is sad but true and I love how you captured the moments so you can feel you are there or at least I can
Good job :)

[Living_Shadowz]

There's a part 2 if you wanna read it

[Smokey]

Ya I saw it and I'll read it next :)

[viola]

I think you have at least 2 separate poems here. The first one ends after the 4th stanza, then the next one starts. They're both good, but written in a very different style.
If I were you I would develop the 2nd one first. It is more of a poem, the first one is more of a story--there are just a lot of words in that first part!

I particularly like your last stanza. Can that become a theme? The walls you built up falling down? Can you somehow come back to that concept of walls each stanza? You sort of did that in the 2nd to last stanza, but I don't see it anywhere else. You could talk about how you built the walls, why you need the walls, etc. I think all those concepts are there, but linking them through a concept of walls could make the poem more powerful.
Thanks for being willing to make yourself vulnerable.

[Living_Shadowz]

Thank you I will definitely write a poem about the things you asked and see how it goes

read moreThank you I will definitely write a poem about the things you asked and see how it goes

And I usually do end up making my poems on two topics I just like loose control to emotions I guess xD