Married to McDonald's

A woman kicks her husband out after discovering his infidelity. Never mind that the "other woman" is a fast food chain we all know and love.

Married to McDonalds

 

 

-Honey, I’m home.

 

-Late again, as usual.

 

-Sorry, dear...we had a late drive-through rush.

 

-Yeah, yeah.

 

-The fry-machine broke, too.

 

-You used that one last week.

 

-But…

 

-Forget it, George, you’re a liar.

 

-I’m not lying. I’m just dedicated to my job.

 

-More like married. Married to damned McDonald’s!  I feel like a wife who’s constantly cheated on!

 

-That’s crazy.

 

-Oh yeah? What about the time I caught you eating Big Macs in the bathroom after telling me you didn’t want to have sex because your stomach hurt?

 

-I was hungry.

 

-Uh-huh…how about when I caught you calling the McDonald’s hotline while I was sleeping?  I didn’t even know there was a McDonald’s hotline!

 

-It’s for corporate and customer service questions.

 

-So you needed to call it at 3am?

 

-…

 

-What about the time you spent our vacation money on a fry machine?  I know you stole cooking oil and raw fries from your own store, too!

 

-I paid for those things.

 

-No, you didn’t. You stole from your little w***e, McDonald’s, Inc.

 

-Don’t talk about her that way!

 

-You’re pathetic!  We’re done, George.(hastily gathers clothes and shoves them in a suitcase.)

 

-(Hands her a bag of Kid’s Meal toys)

 

-Are those stolen, too?

 

-No, I…

 

-Bye, George (wife leaves slamming the front door)

 

-Oh God…what have I done? My wife has left me! I’m gonna need two McRibs and an extra-large Coke to get through this night.