Relationship Phobia

Is it possible to overcome relationship phobia? What if you threw a super model into the equation, does that change anything?

RELATIONSHIP PHOBIA

 

-You’re getting a divorce? How? Why? Wasn’t she Miss October or something?

 

-Maxim Magazine’s Miss August 2012 “Girls of Summer” contest.

 

-So what happened?  Did she cheat on you?

 

-No

 

-Is it drugs?  I’ll bet she’s on the pipe?

 

-No

 

-Mental problem?

 

-No

 

-Is she disfigured? Does she have a disease?

 

-No

 

-I’ll bet she has a crazy family.

 

-No, her family is normal and really quite friendly.

 

-Then what the hell is it? Is she a gold-digger? She wants your money, doesn’t she?

 

-It’s none of those. The sad truth is this: she snores.

 

-You’re kidding, right?

 

-Like a combination freight train and cow flatulence!

 

-But she’s a super-model! Have a little flexibility!

 

-I can’t sleep.

 

-Couldn’t you sleep in separate bedrooms or use one of those anti-snoring devices or get some noise-cancelling headphones? Don’t forget…she IS a super-model.

 

-We tried separate bedrooms as well as all those devices, and the sound still penetrates!

 

-Get some ear plugs, man! She’s freakin’ Miss August, 2012!

 

-Tried ‘em. But you know, we haven’t tried counseling. Maybe we could get some answers there.

 

-Now you’re talking. I think the marriage is worth salvaging, considering she’s a super-model and all.

 

-She is pretty. Yes, I’ll give counseling a try so we can address the snoring as well as the other big concern I have about her.

 

-And what is that?

 

-Toe-jam. 

 

-…

 

-On an unimaginable scale.

 

-…