Dig This

A Beat-ified version of an actual happening. Written For Kerry o'Connor's contest

 

 

 

 

 

 

CAN YOU DIG THIS?

 

by the street

in the heat

lay the peat

none too neat

 

massive pile

sighing, drying

exhalating,

waiting...

 

trenchant soil

sun a-broil

pending toil

 

shovel driving

blister rising

barrow rolling

t'ward enholing

 

down one lane

uphill the other

where waits the brother

home project lover

 

bad dirt lifted

now sifted

rocks outrolling

slowly shoaling

with good blended

to hole send it

raking

i ain't faking

grime is caking

throat is baking

thirst unslaking

 

timber

dismembered,

spade bits boring,

the beds upshoring,

the ring of steel

as it grabs it's meal

 

finished now,

first two terraces--

limps embarrass us

 

standing back

work admiring

apple tree aspiring

heavily perspiring

 

smiling, as

tools upgathering

Yes, my brother:

 

I CAN DIG THIS!

 

Mark Teague

June 9, 2011

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[emmajoy]

WONDERFUL! Love the picture you paint as it uncurls across the canvas of your lines .. love the throbbing, playful meter, your play of words and the ending is just beautiful!

' standing back ~~ work admiring ~~ apple tree aspiring ~~ heavily perspiring '

(As you can imagine, have felt a little like the above, once or twice or more!)

[Dominique Lambright]

Awesome form that you created here. It is simple in the words used to create the rhyming but it is also complex in just talking about this pile of soil growing into something more. As the last picture shows here. Really liked this one as well.

[Mark]

You're too kind, Dominique. Thank you for your generosity. I will try and reciprocate tomorrow, all right; McD's is about to close, or I'd do it now.

[Dominique Lambright]

No Problem, You're welcome :)

[LinBin]

I dig it too.......your poetry I mean.......great write x

[Samuel Dickens]

Atta-boy, Mark! Poetry for ditch-diggers and landscapers. Pretty sophisticated stuff, too. Yours truly has spent quite a bit of time on the end of a shovel, and now I feel officially recognized.

[Muse]

I reread this......and it reminded me all over again how much I liked this. This style of writing; I think you found your niche. :)

[Shep]

I could feel the tempo as each line summoned me. The words held meaning. I felt like I was leaf drifting down were upon unknown wind. Nicely done.

[R J Askew]

I agree with Muse. I think this wld perform really well and I can imagine three or four voices reeling it off at speed. It's on the front foot and rocks right into the head. Maybe it as much to be felt as heard, like a clatter of heavy rain on roof.

[Muse]

This had a unique rhyming scheme. It was fast and upbeat. Much like a drum which someone mentioned below. You inspired me to try something different in the future with my poetry. Nice write!

[Kaylor Mason]

This is good. Reminds me of a drumbeat with road workers and masonry and gardening. The rhythm alone is like taking a stick and rattling it across the bars of a cage. Nice touch.

[Becky C Strukamp]

Great rhythm, fun to read, nice to sit back and smile awhile.

[Ladysue]

this is so invigorating...love the playful rhythm. excellently done..