STAIRS

One of two elegies I composed in memory of my first wife, Patricia.

Stairs

 

When to Slidell from N’awlins came

She feared they might be much the same

So she asked a neighbor--me--to wait

Atop the stairs, to hold the gate

 

And watch her path, lest ill befall,

When she, as leaving work would call,

And I atop the stairs would stand

To quell her fear, to take her hand,

 

And laughing, lead her to her door…

A duty, alas, that’s mine no more.

 

For now, ‘tis she atop the stair

And I who wait, all unaware

Of dangers, whether real or no,

Of that new land I fear to go,

 

And I, who pensive, upward glance,

Where she, with healthy, happy stance

With patience waits, my steps to guide

Atop the stairs, for my last ride.

 

With labors ended, home to fly,

At last to live with God on high!

 

c. mark teague

october 1, 2004

Reviews

[Tate Morgan]

This was beautifully done mark well rhymed and written

[Frieda P]

Interesting, new and different take on this subject, well done.

[Jack...]

I really like the style, the word usage and the flow of this piece. The message is also moving and clear. Very nice.

[Mark]

Did you catch the central them, of role reversal, of her being the fearful and I the guide, to the reverse?

[Jack...]

Definitely, it was clear as a bell. it is what made this piece for me.

[Mark]

Then I have succeeded! Thanks for the kudos.

[bob, small b. aka invs]

i don't know how i missed reading this before. what a nice down-to-earth metaphor for a not-so-down-to-earth concept. while my faith is a bit shaky these days, i am wistful and perhaps a little envious of such examples of hope and faith.

[Mark]

Thank you Bob. Knowing the caliber of your work, I am especially grateful to receive praise from such as yourself. GLad, also, to have been a small source of consolation or encouragement to a questioning soul...

[Dr. Wood ?]

a quite lovely piece Mark. This sounds as if it just flowed on out. It's rare to get that uplifting feeling with such a sad subject...You nailed it

[Mark]

You commented yesterday (negatively, as I recall) on a writer's repetitive use of the same phrase. Did you notice that I here used "atop the stair(s)" in every stanza, expressly for the purpose of illustrqating how similar our statuses (stata?) were, yet still how opposite, both before and after her demise? How are you feeling today about this device, handled perhaps a bit more adroitly?

[Dr. Wood ?]

It was invisible to me....That is why the other one grated so...I wish I'd never reviewed that one it caused a lot of pain to me...I detest confrontation even if it comes through the ether from the other side of the world...This poem of yours was stunning

[Mark]

Thanks, DR. I concur with your earlier assessment, that it sometimes seems that phrases get reused because the writer simply pirogues in such a shallow pond!

[Dr. Wood ?]

I had to look up Pirogues....Great word

[patricia]

the way you turned it all around in the fourth stanza was very moving. This was very moving Mark. Thanks.

[Jasmine]

This makes me sad... in a happy way.
I love your style of writing, which is unusual for me because I prefer free verse.
Your work is exquisite.

[emmajoy]

Beautiful with memories made and more to make, Mark. You write with a gentle hand here, and maybe more than a spiritual or philosophical wrapping. Not sure if it's good or bad but i also find some sweet humour in this, almost like children playing a wonderful game.

[Shep]

A very inspried poem with a pasionit meaning to all that await atop of the stairs. Nicely Done and very well writen.

[Muse]

each line...was like climbing another stair...bringing me one step closer to being a better person. :)