Watcher

For Alberts new Ten-word contest, a new form called "The Wave Waltz". Nineteen lines, forming five peaks of 2,3,4,3 and 2 syllables (1,2,1,2,3,2,1,2,3,4,3,2,1,2,3,2,1,2,1,) Challenging and fun!

The Watcher

 

 WAVES

 Rolling

 In

 To DIE

 Placidly

 On the

 Beach....

 

 WHEELING

 Far AWAY

 A brace of CLOUDS--

 Free of EARTH,

 For now...

 

 Old

 IDEAS

 Make no SENSE;

 DISTANCE

 Called,

 But I

 SAT...

 

mark

March 9, 2010

Reviews

[Aimee Mahathy]

Oooh, this is great! The numbers kind of bothered me, but I understand their purpose for the contest :3 Very intriguing though! I might have to try my hand at this sans numbers~
The final stanza ends so perfectly, so profoundly. "Distance called, but I sat."
Wonderful poem! Thank you for sharing!

[cest la vie]

Wow.. now this I could not do without mucho practice..
great job Mark.. really impressive!!

[Raivenne]

Very nice, your words fit well with the flow.

[angelina neves]

fantastic! beautiful!

[Stacey Watts]

This is a wonderful piece. Very nicely written. The flow of this was exquisite.

[Helen Crutchett]

lol....just smiling at Mr Dickens review!

Mark, this was wonderfully done. Well set out, spot on with the form. Fantastic!
Thanks for submitting this to Tovli's Ten!

Helena

[Samuel Dickens]

It looks like you whipped it, Mark; you old word-weaver you.