The Walgreen's Blues...(formerly, "Bettah Dan I Knew I Could")

A friend and I were chatting last night, and she said something which caused this, only my second official blues tune (see, "Cruise Control Blues), to drop into my head. Enjoy!

BETTAH DAN I KNEW I COULD

 

"I’se gwine down to de drugsto', gots to get me some meds;

Oh, Im'a go'n down to de drugsto', gettin ' me some special meds--

If de drugsto' he doan habbit, gots to get it fum de fommasis instead!"

 

"De dokta-man, he doan got it, so I axed him put in a call.

 My dokta-man, he sho' ain't got none, so he made myse'f a call.

 Now I'se headed fo de chemist, he be's rat down de hall!"

 

 " Mistah Fommasis, won't you he'p me? I gots summat needs fixin'bad!

Lawd, Mistah Fommasis, you gotsta he'p me, I be's feelin mighty sad!

Cain't cha dose me dem good meds, like Massa Dokta said you had?"

 

"Lemme look to yo scrip-sheet, Missus, an see wut dat dokta rote.

 Please, did you bring me dat scrip-sheet, woman? I gots ta know wat de dokta rote!

 If you didn't brang no scrip-sheet, Lady, 'sgonna be a helluba note!"

 

“Dokta doan gib me no scrip-sheet, said you’d know what I would need

I ain’ got nary scrip-sheet, Mistah, I’se tole you’d fix me up wit speed!”

Fommasis said, “Woman, I b'leeve I gots yo cure indeed!”

 

“Now what I gots ta gib you, it doan come in no pill,

Ain’t no urrnge bottle hold it, but I reckon, gal, you will!

Now won’t you step back to my office, an’ let me make you well!”

 

“Now de Fommasis, he done hep’t me, wif his speshul healin’ tool,

I gets reglah refills wib it, but doan you think I is no fool!

He gib me a mess o’ speshulists, who I gets meds from too!”

 

“Now all my galfriends goes ta see him, dey all says his meds is good,

Shame dey gots at go so offen, meds doan last good lak dey should

But we’s all feelin’ bettah, baybe, bettah dan we knew we could!”

 

“Lawd! I got’s dem Walgreen’s blooz, y’all!

Uh-huh, dem CVS blooz too, y’all

Getting’ me some Rite-Aid aid, y’all!

Bettah dan I knew I could!”

Author's Note

The misspellings are intentional--it's supposed to represent a deep-Southern brogue

Reviews

[Marie Anzalone]

As usual, I agree with Rick... I didna see no danged misspellings heah.

I was standing in line at the bookstore listening to a woman talk to the clerk about the book she was buying- it was a guide to the South Beach Diet. She kept saying, "it looks this one will give me the energy I need, because it says to cut out fruits and carbs, and I know that those things are what has to be draining me"

and it was so painfully clear to me that this was another act of desperation for her, when what she really needed was to be living a life that was passionate to her, and full of creative energy of some kind. I think the pharmacist in your song would have agreed!

Loved it!

[bob, small b. aka invs]

i tink i done hoid big momma torton singin dis tune down at tipitina's or sum udda juke joint.

[Mark]

"hoid", eh? Dat's lowah nynte wahd, f'troo, cher!

[bob, small b. aka invs]

i listen to too much dr john.

[Marie]

It's got a beat to it...I think we could all dance to it...

[Dr. Wood ?]

it works as well...It is hard to write in dialect. I am born and bred British but I could follow it...well MOST of it...great stuff It should maybe be sung to a blues riff.

[Mark]

Which words did you have difficulty translating? In London, most r's and h's disappear, but in the South, whole groups of letters can either disappear or mash-up...It's pretty phonetic, though, if you just relax your presuppositions!

[Dr. Wood ?]

I have re read it since and I got it all. I have written one in my native northamptonshire dialect and I wouldn't put it up here because it wouldn't make sense to any one...Its quite funny thoiugh, my family love it.

[poetry lover]

Some people actually make a living of trying to document this very language style which has a name I can't recall. And you have it nailed.
I love the music of the poem, VERY FUNNY Blues! Would love to hear it sung with a guitar or banjo.

[poetry lover]

Amazing capture of Southern "accent". Lots of humor here!

[Luke Ritta]

love the south...love this poem...the details and slang were great.

[Shep]

Never saw mispelled words just backwoods country launguge from the south. Some have a different take but all the same to me. I never laughed so hard. Awesome poem If get stuck and need some ideas this will stir them up.

[Keve]

Lordy, lordy misser Mark. Dissa heah pome tech't ma fummy bome. Stih chuklin' n' kint stop no how.

You a blues man? Should be. I bet you gotta way cool pair of shades even if you ain't. How, how, how, how.

[Snapdragon]

It shore look good t'me. :-) I bet this was a blast to write! And probably very hard, but considering you are from the south maybe it came more natural to you? Your spell check must have been lighting up like crazy. This a really fun song. I could hear the blues music in my mind as I read it.

[Breezie Kae]

It's really good and the Southern thing adds a nice touch, but to be honest, it's a little hard to read. haha