"M" PLANTS

Once, while attempting to persuade a former lover of what she needed to do to become un-stuck, this fable-like image popped to mind...

I found a pack of Magic Seeds,
Hidden 'neath a sheaf of reeds

I picked those reeds up, and I flung 'em,
Then picked those seeds up, and I brung 'em!

Seeking, then, a patch, a plot
Where magic Seeds could grow a lot,

I came unto your heart and knocked�
But, Alas!, the door was locked!

I cried, "I have some Magic Seeds
Which fulfill your deepest needs!"

Then at the peep, an eye appeared--
I saw at once, 'twas sore afeared!

"If", I pled, "A Cup of Joy
Is what you seek, then I'm your Boy!"

Then clapped the Trap!, but I quailed not
(For Seeds of Magic I have got!)

Then inch by inch so shyly ope'd
The barricade, as if you hoped

To ascertain the Truth, (or not!)
Of what it was I said I'd brought

I gently sought for fingers fair
(So long since they had felt the air!)

Then placed within a quivering palm
A single silver Seed; no qualm

Had I, that you'd not know
What you must do, where it must go!

You timidly one button free'd
But, trembling, glanced at me in need

Of guidance, so I gently free'd
Your fingers, and removed the Seed,

And placed it just within the cleft
Between your right breast, and your left

And covering it with your own hand,
I hoped you soon might understand:

The Magic lies NOT in the Seed,
But in your willingness to need!

Then did that Seed commence its toil
Of changing hard clay into Soil

Nourished by your heart's own beat,
Watered oft with your tears sweet,

A tendril sought, and shortly found
A purchase for to wind around,

To skyward pull a Twig, a Leaf--
WAIT! What's that on your Face? BELIEF?

Belief that what I've said is true?
Believe the claims I've made to you?

At last, you've wonderfully discerned,
That to a Bush your Twig has turned!

And perched atop that Bush now grows
A Bud; you lift it lightly to your nose,

And then, with bated breath, breathe deep
Its aroma, in your heart to keep

To ponder upon when you sleep,
To wonder at, when thinking deep!

Discovered, then, in Soil new-made
(Where once your Soul was sore afraid!)

Blooms now the Fruit of hidden Joy
Which for too long, no Sun enjoyed!

But now, because you plucked a Seed,
Thus acknowledging your need,

Because YOU finally ope'd the Door,
Your self-imprisonment is o'er!

Awake, my Love, from Torment's chain,
And walk to me, to Life again!


April 13, 2004

Author's Note

First, apologies to my many friends for not responding to their gracious reviews. For some reason, notification of same did not appear on my homepage.
Second, a word of explanation. This piece began as a humorous work, hence the goofy, nonstandard phrasing in the early couplets. The "I" that I invisioned was something of an aimless clodhopper, a Jack-in-the-Beanstalk type (he had magic seeds too, you'll recall!) But as the poem developed, and he began to realize the depth of his responsibility, the greatness of his potential reward, his mien sobered somewhat, along with his language. So, you see, although the poem has a distinct tonal change, it is called-for, and quite necessary to derive the fullest depth of meaning from his quest.

Reviews

[Lizanne]

A beautiful poetic garden planted from the offering of a seed of love. To have lived closed away, heart kept locked and refusal of allowing the soft offered touch of love from one that is willing to give. Open the eyes just a smidge and see the small simple offering and accept this tiny seed. Once it is planted withing the heart and soul, it will bring forth life to the loving nature that has been buried in the hard cracked soil that had laid barren to life for so long. The seed blossoms, bearing all the fragrant feelings (feelings do have scents) to the once lost sensation of soft intimate touch and the joys that love brings, free from the darkness, that within which they had lay hidden, until the soil was once more brought to be fertile by the caring touch of a loving gardner and bearer of the seed.

[Gregory Hill]

I really like this. It is written great. One thing however that I noticed this:

In various places you have lines that seem heartfelt, almost formal in places here are a few examples:


And then, with bated breath, breathe deep
Its aroma, in your heart to keep

But now, because you plucked a Seed,
Thus acknowledging your need,

Awake, my Love, from Torment's chain,
And walk to me, to Life again!

And covering it with your own hand,
I hoped you soon might understand:



However, you also use many comical and everyday lines such as:


I picked those reeds up, and I flung 'em,
Then picked those seeds up, and I brung 'em!

Then at the peep, an eye appeared--
I saw at once, 'twas sore afeared!

"If", I pled, "A Cup of Joy
Is what you seek, then I'm your Boy!"

Discovered, then, in Soil new-made
(Where once your Soul was sore afraid!)


These places and a few others don't go with the Formal/heartfelt ones. They almost seem to subtract from the great allegory you have here.


Other than that I didn't see anything that looked out of place, great job and congratulations on such a long piece, it must have been hard to keep all the rhymes going the way you wanted the story to. Great job, once again.

[bob, small b. aka invs]

i'm a little confused by the style of this piece. one the one hand it seems quite casual, using words like 'brung' and phrases like 'i'm your boy'. on the other hand it uses quite poetic forms and language. to me, they seem to clash. the subject matter, i liked. it was a nice little allegory. i just had trouble getting past the confusion of language.

[Samuel Dickens]

I read this through a couple of times, trying to figure out whether the message was simple and what it appeared to be, or if it was something much deeper. Concluding the former, I can see that our mere interactions with others cause seeds to be planted regularly. I've made changes in myself because of seeds planted by others, and I think we probaly all are like that. Highly skillful writing, as always, Mark. Shortening it a little would make it more effective, I think.

[Ellen Hammond]

I love this one! The couplets work so well here. You weave a beautiful story of an awakening, and igniting a heart grown cold from fear. A beautiful way to tear down those self erected walls. The title threw me a bit, but intrigued me more. A very delightful read, my friend.