FEAR

This is a kind of dark counterpoint to "To An Un-met Love", wherein I expressed my conviction that my She was out there somewhere. Here, I bemoan a pre-emptive end to my quest.

FEAR

 

Fear such as I have never known

   Engulfs me, holds me in its thrall

   Encompassing my life, my All,

That once was Me away has flown!

 

My heart seems to be made of Bone

   Nor will it hearken to my call

   My Spirit, once high-flown has fall-

en, Chained as it were to a great Stone.

 

The One whom I did once believe

   To be the One for whom I sought

 

To be my Solace, my Reprieve

   'twould seem she certainly is NOT!

 

I fain would stay, but my heart cries, "Leave!";

   now the Fear of choosing

          The Pain of losing,

      Or the Pain of staying's what I've got!

 

10-23-91

Author's Note

A mildly modified Sonnet.

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Mark,

Wonderful writing. Wonderful introspective insights not only personal but of the human condition.

Ah, fear! How it motivates us. How it insidiously weaves its tangles through our thoughts and being till it vies for control of all attention and action. It makes us run unthinking. It stops us dead in our tracks with violent shaking.

The fear of making the wrong choice. How often do we contemplate this in our lives?

Well written.

Best regards,

Rick

[Nobody.]

great piece of writing man. loved the language you chose. very cerebral and raw.
my favorite of yours so far.
cheers!

[Aimee Mahathy]

Wow! This is wonderful!
This is so painfully original! =D

[bob, small b. aka invs]

this is a skilled piece of writing. which, for me, sometimes detracts from the feelings expressed. in this case it doesn't. the rhythm and rhyme and form all compliment each other and it doesn't feel at all forced. wonderful writing.

[C.T. Bailey]

Unique and disturbing. In reading, my mind's eye made connections to pain as it relates to this relationship and the hearlding of its ending; however, I found myself simultainously engaging thought on a deeper, more spirtual level. I couldn't help but make comparisons to a climatic struggle between man's inner longings and the will of God. A struggle culminating in a dismissal of faith. I'm reasonably certain this was not your intent, but I did find the "Job-like" struggle and interesting parallel. A very good as well as thought-provoking read. Thank you for the RR....
Todd

[Samuel Dickens]

The blues--that's what this is. Fancier words, but it's the same thing--hurting from that empty hole in your life and crying out. I've been there too. A fine piece of writing, Mark.

[An owl on the moon]

Deeply moving, awakening the depth of passion, of wanting and waiting and wishing... Beautifully done, Mark!

[Pratibha]

My heart seems to be made of Bone

Nor will it hearken to my call

My Spirit, once high-flown has fall-

en, Chained as it were to a great Stone.

i am re- reading this to get the 'feel' of the sonnet...!!
yes, it indeed made sense today technicalities wise just like you told me....Hmm...yeah, I think i will take many years and time....!!

But I think I am slowly beginning to become aware...YAY !

[Pratibha]

i don't know how to begin...i thought it would leave me anxious...instead it left me peaceful
I don't know how to describe how i am feeling NOW...and it's like witnessing the birth of faith out of this fear