A Foreboding Drum

Here's another Sestina, a mildly tongue-in-cheek observation about HOW my quest to repay a childhood enemy made me less like myself, and MORE LIKE HIM!

A FOREBODING DRUM

I look afar, and see upon a Stump
Him who once I did name Nemesis,
And watch as he beats his ego-Drum,
Which with year's overuse has grown Sturdy,
And rigid and tough and hard and Waterproof
As it has and does his name Pronounce.

Woe!, that he and it so oft Pronounce
So proud an appellation, for such a Stump
Of a sculpture!, whose hide has grown Waterproof
With the blood and tears of those whose Nemesis
He is, or was. My resolve grows yearly more Sturdy
To one day perforate that fragile Drum!

Yet, it seems that I would Drum
Upon an ego all my own, if I Pronounce
Vendetta; my resolve to repay grown SO Sturdy
That I would wither my lively soul to a Stump
In pointless pursuit of a now-nameless Nemesis,
Whom, though I might drown, Time's made Waterproof!

It would seem fitting to make my OWN soul more Waterproof,
Though my tears would, I think, fill a Drum,
The enormity of which then becomes a NEW Nemesis,
Whose crushing weight serves but to Pronounce
A death sentence, grinding to a Stump
Those best parts of me, once thought so Sturdy.

But if I cause MY heart to be more Sturdy,
Hard, tough, rigid, and my eyes Waterproof,
Do I not thereby become MORE like that Stump;
In fact, his DUPLICATE? I hear a Foreboding Drum
(Nor is it far, but near!) which would Pronounce
Doom upon we dupes who would duplicate our Nemesis!

By one means only may I vanquish my Nemesis:
That is, by retaining a kindly spirit, a Sturdy
Determination to oppose the Foe who would have me to Pronounce
RACA!, when those whose tear-steeped, Waterproof
Hearts act at variance to mine own; whose Drum
Carven from a great Tree, might yet so easily be sawn to a Stump!


What-or-whomever I name Nemesis can only capsize the Waterproof
Vessel of my life through my Sturdy beating upon the resentment Drum.
Only when that's ceased may I Pronounce ultimate victory o'er that toe-stubbing Stump!

December 10, 1988 (envoy added January 14, 2003)

Reviews

[David Lewis Paget]

You have a very interesting way of looking at things, pondering over past wrongs and insults, and meandering to conclusions that would be better for your soul. I think the 'Sestina' probably suits the type of topics you explore in these pieces, as they are deep, dark, and not easily fathomable, like the form.

[Great Aunt Astri]

Ah, I now see what you mean by a sestina! A very difficult form of poetry but your poem reads really well. I bet you had fun writing it, and you got your own back on that bully!

[TL Boehm]

had you not said this was a sestina I would not have registered it = which means it read well. It was not contrived. It was all about the message and not the mechanics - its very much like pairs dancing. With a couple - in some dance, you won't see the male dancer because he is doing his job 'presenting the woman. This sestina presented the message in that manner.

[Mark]

This is amazing praise. I often have wondered whether the words were my partner, and I but the fulcrum upon which they swung; thus, if I have presented them aright, I become the more apparent, even in being the less visible!

[Allen Smuckler]

This is a great poem, Mark...the fact that it is a Sestina, for me, makes it even more impressive..You kept with the theme throughout barely missing a beat and I absolutely loved the ending. You have a terrific knack of making lines and stanzas work by simply continuing thoughts to the next line.
"What-or whomever I name Nemesis can only capsize the Waterproof
vessel of my life through my Sturdy beating upon the resentment Drum"
I never think to do that...also, Capitalizing the words at the end of the line...I'm not quite sure if that is for emphasis or observation...if you defined the poem "A foreboding Drum" (A sestina) as a Sestina would you still do it. Certainly these are not criticisms but rather curiosity.
Finally, do you choose the 6 words 1st or write the opening stanza first.
You really pulled it off Chris..a wonderful, heartfelt write.
Allen

[Samuel Dickens]

Yeowee--this one has survived the years, hasn't it? And not just the poem, but the ever-raw memories that inspired it. It's hard to forget those bullies. I remember them all, and we had a lot of them in my little town. I'm not sure us non-bullies could ever be like them. It hurts me to see others suffer, and it probavly does you too. Another fantastic write, Mark.

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Mark,

A well woven, difficult poem with a superlative message. I personally would never attempt such a poem because of the difficult form and my preference for writing lyrical poetry, which would be nigh impossible with such structural restrictions. But I must admit that this is a very admirable effort and I'm impressed.

Highest regards,

Rick

[R J Askew]

Bravo! Well-executed with a pleasing moral msg. '...beats his ego-drum...' had me in, and I am sure wld win hook other eyes too. You are so right that we demean ourselves with vendetta and there is great power in ignore-ance of said ego. But I heard only ydy that people who vent anger are at ease with themselves. But it is unedifying. I think unless we strike back immediatly in heat we should not strike back at all. But god, the beat of that ego-drum does rankle!